Big Plans

It is officially the 4th day of my spring break and therefore, on the down hill slope toward the end.
And what do I really have to show for it? Nothing.
I had big plans, you know. We all do. Big plans to change the world in our free time. Ah! Throw on your super hero cape and change the world!!! Big plans to catch up on the house that has been neglected, friends that have been neglected, knitting, blogs... all things that have been neglected. I had big plans to clean out closets and drawers. Big plans to clear out cabinets of clutter, and the garage of unneeded teacher stuff.
I had big plans to write blog after blog about my feelings/experiences. I had plans to write a novel, (ok, maybe not) and catch up on homework that MUST be done by next Tuesday. I had plans, but yet I sit and knit. I even tried to open the books today. "Oh, I will be studious and read," I thought. But the spring weather and the knitting called me to knit outside.
Oh, I will get one more row done and then... oh, gosh, now I have to change to knit 3, purl 3, I can't possibly stop now!
This is my world. Thus is my life.
My house looks at least like people could actually live in it now without catching some crazy disease. I will have dinner tonight with friends, so the catching up on neglected friends is getting better. And now, I blog. If nothing else that to tell you what a slacker I am.
If only I could type and knit at the same time!
But for now, on this, the Thursday of my spring break, the super hero cape is now neglected. It sits waiting for me to get the energy to actually DO half of the things I planned on doing.
Till then, I knit. But isn't that the point of Spring Break? To actually take a BREAK from the crazy things in life? Isn't that the point, to take it easy, spend some time with us, our families, and our friends? or am I just making excuses? Or does it really matter?

For now, I will just work on kitting a person who can wear the cape and do the work for me.

TEXAS

Yep. today is the day!!!
Happy birthday to my uncle bill... and happy independence, Texas.
:)
Yippee.

Sushi

hmmm... sushi is a strange word. It is fun to say though. The way your mouth moves when you say it.
As if forcing you to smile.
Sushi is an acquired taste. Some people think it is too fishy. Others just don't get it all together.
Sushi isn't strange to HAVE for lunch. But it is strange to BRING for lunch in a sponge bob lunchbox, when you are wearing cat shoes.
I am just saying....

Just a thought...

There are things you can't write in a blog. NO matter how much they stick to the core of your being. No matter how strongly you believe them, think about them, become them, the words don't come. They can't come. People might worry about you if you say them. People might wonder. People might laugh or think differently about you. So you keep them inside in that safe place you call your heart. You trust them to your closest friends, but you don't dare to write them down. Doing so would make it all the more real.

fever blisters and cat shoes...

It is funny the kinds of things you get stuck in your head.
No amount of reasoning can help it.
I had to have been 7, maybe 8 when I saw a high school kid on crutches. I asked his friend, also a smart assed teenager what happened to make the guy break his leg. The friend told me, as matter of factly as he could, that the guy hadn't cut his toenails, had fallen, and broke his leg. When you are 8, these things are logical. Young brains can reason out anything. Even now, I know how bones break, but you can bet my toenails are always super short.

Funny how things get stuck in your head.

When I was in high school, I kissed a boy. Not just any boy. My boyfriend's best friend. Long story. Very long story. But the next day, I had the biggest fever blister of my life! Bigger than life, I thought. Oh crap. Does Boyfriend's best friend have one too? Surely that would be our sign to the world! Surely that would tell on us.
But luckily for us, he didn't. I still carried around the fever blister, my own little scarlet letter that only I knew about.

Funny how things get stuck in your head.

January was, for better words, a craptastic month for me. Pretty crappy indeed. I screwed some things up pretty badly and I beat myself up pretty well for it.
I didn't do anything like kiss a boy I shouldn't have, but I did do some stupid stuff. And all of a sudden, there comes a fever blister. There comes my scarlet A for all to see. My big sign announcing to the world what a screw up I am.

Funny how things get stuck in your head.

So, I have been carrying around the scars of a fever blister now for a month. It hasn't healed. It hasn't gone away. I can't seem to heal either. I can't seem to let go of the past and my being less than perfect. I can't seem to heal the emotional scar either. But I am working on it.

Funny how things get stuck in your head.

I bought some cat shoes the other day. I decided that they would get me out of my funk. They were my good luck charms. They were going to heal my scars.
I know, really and truly that only I can forgive myself for letting myself down, shoes won't do that for me... but in my mind, they are what will escape me from my funk. So far they are working.

Funny how things get stuck in your head...and on your feet.

Kryptonite

I bow down to the power of the calendar. I do. You are my Kryptonite. You are my weakness and I humbly acknowledge that fact. I don’t deny it. I don’t try to fight it. I know. I made a mistake. I confidently filled you, dear calendar, with all of my important information. All of my plans for the near future. All of my hopes and dreams for the coming weeks, I unabashedly gave to you, blindly and hopefully. You had stayed with me for so long. You were my robin, my girl Friday (get it… calendar, Friday…), my great sidekick. You were there. You were true blue. You were reliable.

Can we get together Saturday for dinner?
OH, let me check my calendar…
Can you present a writing session next Thursday?
Oh, I am pretty sure but let me check my calendar…
You were right by my side.
And then you weren’t… and my world changed.

It was a pretty sudden thing actually. One minute I was marking in you, giving you more of my plans for the future as I always do, and next thing I knew, you were gone.
And like a flash, as if lightning had struck, my world was changed.
I was dumb. My brain was gone. I was lost.

BT: What are we doing next weekend?
Me: uh, I don’t know… uh, (drool)

It was like I was walking in a fog. I was half there. Like that feeling you get when you drink too much Nyquil… I couldn’t shake it.
What was wrong with me? Not enough sleep? Not enough vegetables? Not enough vitamins? I tried them all. But you calendar, you knew my real weakness… you knew what would get to me more than anything else. You knew this couldn’t be solved with echinatia.
You knew.
I even tried to recreate you. Called people, borrowed their brains for a while, used their memories. It worked for a little while, but in the back of my mind, I knew it was inferior substitute compared to you and your powers.

You must have felt sorry for me, beloved calendar, because you showed up.
I couldn’t have been happier! I instantly felt myself get smarter.
I instantly felt the fog lift.
I know now. I will not be so careless.
So I bow down to you my dear calendar. You rock. You are the bee’s knees.
Thanks for coming back.
My family thanks you. My brain especially thanks you.
Now, can you help me find my keys?

Letter to God

Hey God.
Yeah it is me again. I've been talking to you a lot lately.
I just wanted to say thanks for some stuff if you don't mind.
Thanks first of all for my family. They so rock my world. I got my independence and my stubbornness from my parents. They can argue about which side of the family...
Thanks for BT and Annie.
I like that they are beside me every night in bed.
That makes me feel pretty warm and cozy and safe even if they are snoring like crazy.

Thanks for my friendship with that hughman. Between him and BT, I laugh like nobody's business these days.
Thanks for Polly... without her, that hugh would be a little lost in the world.
Thanks for my friends. I totally love that they are there and know little secrets about me. (even if they give me a hard time about having a pony)
Thanks for pirates. period.
Thanks for prayer and the way you give us a direct line to you. No long distance charges! No need for expensive internet! Wow. Totally cool.
You rock God.
Thanks for teenagers and the chance to show them Your Love and Grace this weekend and every weekend.
Thanks for life and love and passion.

Oh, and thanks for being you.
Yeah God.
Keep doing what you are doing.

Love,
Me

Christmas Quiz...

We live for these things!!!

pssst. pass it on.
to those of you who have been giving me problems about not writing...
I answer these and then pass them on to you.
I will EXPECT to see them on your blog soon.
:)

What you want for Christmas... if your friends were millionaires: a new boat for BT, all bills paid, uh, maybe my own movie theatre?

What you want for Christmas... for real: I got baby chicks... what more could I want?

What you want for Christmas... in abstract: the end of AIDS...and no more cancer...ever.

Year of the first Christmas you can remember: I think I only remember it because there is video of the thing... learning to fish in front of the tree with my dad.

Ever in a holiday play? When? I was of course, Lucy in the Charlie Brown Christmas in junior high.
An early Christmas memory? walking into the living room and seeing my swing set, set up in the living room... or maybe the box of springs Santa gave me, that came with the trampoline. Imagine my face though when I saw just a box of springs... I was like WTF?. Yeah, I was spoiled. I did have a pony.

Favorite holiday ornament (Past and present)Past: My friend Darren decorated the coolest ornaments with holiday scenes. those are my fave.

Classic Christmas song you never get tired of: God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen

Classic Christmas song you loathe: O Tannenbaum... uh. ode to a freakin tree... hate it.

Modern Christmas song you never get tired of: Baby It's cold outside is that a Christmas song? Also Santa looked a lot like Daddy rocks too.

Modern Christmas song you loathe: Grandma got run over by a reindeer...stupid
How many languages can you say "Merry Christmas" in? English, Spanish, Hawaiian. Mele Kaliki Maka

Naughty or Nice? I would say, mostly nice...

Favorite Christmas Ghost: Ghost of Christmas Past...of course.

Favorite Misfit Toy: a reindeer that poops jelly beans.
Can you wrap presents well? My mom used to be a professional wrapper... insert Kanye West, Eminem joke here.

What tops your tree? tree? what tree?

If you were a Christmas elf, what would your name be? OOOOOHHHH. I love this question....ummm... but can't think of anything good right now... leave comments for suggestions...

Who's IT: spideygirl, revmommy, chaos, entropy, sparks, joker, other rlp pirates, ging, New Anglican (only if he can find a way to answer from the book of common prayer), BT, My mom...this will force her to get a blog. anyone else who is up to the challenge.

Nativity

I decided this year to be quite bah-humbuggy about Christmas decorations. Right after Thanksgiving, I didn't have the energy, or the desire to get out Christmas Decorations. When I did eventually have time, it seemed too late to even bother. Why get them out when I would just have to put them away in a week? I know, bah- humbug. I figured I would only get out the necessities... the nativity scene and the stockings (gotta have Santa fill those up!) but I realized... I didn't have a nativity scene.

When I was young, we had the coolest nativity scene. Made totally out of cardboard...or cardstock or something like that. It was like paper dolls. They would store flat, and you would have to bend paper and fit tabs into things to make the shepherds stand up. I think the manger was even three-dimensional when put all together. No clue where my mom got it. Maybe from a paper doll kind of book? Who knows. For something so simple, the pictures were so intricate and beautiful.
This thing got so worn out from years of us putting it together, that my mom had to laminate it to get it sturdier. As far as I know, she still puts it together every year.

A few years ago, when I was really crafty into clay, I fashioned my mom a nativity scene made entirely out of polymer clay. Even though I am not artistic, and it looks like something a fifth grader could have done, I am proud of it. It is me.

My friend Ging was sort of complaining a month ago, in a mom sort of way, about her nativity scene. It seems the little boy genius had been playing with the porcelain baby Jesus and had lost him. hmmm. Quite the predicament. So we were thrilled to see in the store, a little kid plastic play set of the nativity.
I will admit that at first I had issues with this plastic play set. I had problems with, for some reason, little kids making up their own version of the story... (this coming from the girl who proudly owns an action figure Jesus?)

But then, isn't that what has happened for ages now? We all have made up our own story of the birth of Jesus? Sorry folks, it never talks about Mary riding a donkey. Sorry people, It never says how many wise men were there. Could have been 3, could have been 20. Who knows.
It was strange to me, reading the Gospels to figure out just how much of OUR story of the birth of our savior was missing from the actual text.
Why? Why had we, for many many years, added details to the story? To make it nicer, more festive?

The little boy genius, I hear, makes the shepherd wear the king’s clothes. The angel likes to be snuck in with him on shopping trips, and I am sure baby Jesus is lost on a regular basis. And that is ok. Kid, you make up your own story of the birth of Baby Jesus. Everyone else has.
And does it matter? I guess not. What matters is we worship Him and we know that with his birth, comes miracles, love, grace, patience, and forgiveness. That is the True Story of Christmas my friends, forever and always.
Merry Christmas!

never enough time...

This has been one of the funniest weeks EVAH... and I have NO time to blog about it. Next week I will officially be on vacation and maybe can blog some of the funny stuff.
I just hope my crazy mind can remember things by then!

ah, musicals... or how addicted to RENT I am...

My mom was a speech and drama teacher when I was growing up. I went to my share of play practices. I learned all the lines, even when the teenagers couldn't. And I was especially in love with musicals. Love isn't even the word for it.
I worshiped musicals. I can remember turning on the soundtrack of the day, putting on my sock feet, and sliding, dancing and singing all around the living room. I was every character in every show. I was the guy wanting to take the girl on the surrey with the fringe on the top. I was the girl who can't say no. I was the girl who's dad put a fence up between her and her boyfriend's house. I could sing and dance them all baby!
And it didn't end when I was 10. Oh no. When BT and I saw Chicago when we lived in Indiana, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Cell Block Tango was MY song. He did have it coming...
And imagine my surprise to find out that BT HATED musicals. With every fiber of his being... HATED. Ugh.
Are you sure you are my soul mate?

So, I had to have Ginger drive 2 plus hours to go with me to see the movie Rent.
Poor Ging...
:)
So now, I have listened to the soundtrack five hundred twenty five thousand, six hundred times. I can sing every note, every line. I could be Benny, or Joanne, or Mark. I love it all.
I love love it all.
So, if you are driving down the street and you see some crazy woman singing... maybe doing a few "jazz hands" moves, just keep driving... and enjoy the show!

Even when you were little...

You were a bad MO-FO!!!!



Yea and Hip Hip Hooray!!! BT is turning 42 today!!!!

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, there was a guy who spent the entire month of December working... almost 24/7 working, far away from me. It was rough I tell you, but I always knew he would be home on Christmas Eve. One night, we were talking on the phone about his job and what he had accomplished and he said, "yeah, baby, I am a bad mo-fo!"

And you know what? He is!!!
He isn't afraid of anything. I don't know of one thing that makes him nervous or scared, well other than going to the movies in a weekend evening. That freaks him out a bit.
He is good at most everything. I haven't noticed much, besides singing, that he doesn't do well. He is a natural at most things, but those he isn't perfect at, he works hard to learn and get good at.
He is the smartest guy I know. Need to know about the history of anything? He is your man! From all of the History Channel he sleeps through, there is no surprise.

So, you would think with all of this talent, he would be cocky, well he is, but he can be pretty great too.

He is a great cook. While I cook boring food, BT loves to make up the most delicious meals! I love it when he cooks dinner... a delicious adventure every time.
He has the biggest heart I know. He will do just about anything for anyone who needs it. He will lend a hand and appreciate, and love, and give of himself whenever he can.

I guess you might say I think he is pretty awesome! Even if he is a bad mo-fo!


The boy geniuses... two of my favorite men, hanging out together!


Happy Birthday BT! YOU ROCK MY WORLD!!!

for BT...

"When It Don't Come Easy"
Patty Griffin...

Red lights are flashing on the highway
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight
Everywhere the waters getting rough
Your best intentions may not be enough
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight

But if you break down
I'll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I'll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don't come easy

I don't know nothing except change will come
Year after year what we do is undone
Time keeps moving from a crawl to a run
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home

You're out there walking down a highway
And all of the signs got blown away
Sometimes you wonder if you're walking in the wrong direction

But if you break down
I'll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I'll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don't come easy

So many things that I had before
That don't matter to me now
Tonight I cry for the love that I've lost
And the love I've never found
When the last bird falls
And the last siren sounds
Someone will say what's been said before
It is only love we were looking for

But if you break down
I'll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I'll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don't come easy


BT, no matter what, when it don't come easy, I will ALWAYS drive out and find you. I will love you forever and always.

Grateful

I have this darling little girl I teach reading to. She is the highlight of my day most days. In the boy filled world of reading instruction...(most struggling readers in first grade are boys) it is nice to have a girl in the group to change the pace a little bit. She is just darling and is doing better than I could have imagined.
Today, as we began to write, I asked her to tell me something about herself. Really, I wanted her to learn to spell the word "am" so I suggested she tell me some things she is..."I am a sister, I am a reader, I am smart," I gave her examples. Then, I asked her, so, what do you want to say you are?
She looked at me with her large brown eyes and said, "I want to write, I am grateful". That was it.
I am grateful.

Now, I realize that Thanksgiving came and went and the turkey sandwiches are still tasty and new, and the conversations about being thankful are far from a thing of the past, but I would never have expected to hear, "I am grateful" come out of a 6 year old mouth. Wow.

As I drove home, I thought about things that have been going on lately. My graduate class is almost over. Whew, I am SO thankful for that! Things are slowing down and I can actually relax a little bit. Really grateful. I got to eat some great food and hang out with friends and family this past week. thankful.
All of those things I could list pretty easily.

Then I got to thinking about my friend Spidey who went out in the cold with a hand full of Wendy's chili just to feed the man who happened to be invisible after all. I thought about the man who has been coming by the church for help, asking for candles and a nice place to shower because he has no electricity or water at his house. I thought about the man on the corner with the sign. As I handed him what little money I had, and he blessed me and thanked me, it hit me. My little 6-year-old friend was right. What we need now is to be grateful.
In this time when we get so busy rushing to find the perfect gift or the perfect things, the perfect decorations, we somehow forget to be grateful. We forget to be courteous and kind. We forget to be grateful.
I have been reading lots of advent books lately. I have been trying to get in the mood of the season. This year, I want to spend time waiting and anticipating Jesus. I want to spend my time really reflecting on Him and being grateful for what I do have. Being grateful for what I can do. I want to at the end of each day, be able to say the same thing my little friend said, above all else, "I am grateful".

That, Charlie Brown, is what Hula Boola is all about.

Yeah! EEEEK is right!!!

A teacher found this today on the floor in a first grade classroom! It is classic! The funny thing is, as soon as she showed it to me, I thought, THIS would be perfect on the blog!!!
Ah always thinking about blog potential.
:)

Who's to say????

I hadn't heard this song in forever and recent events brought me back to this song.



Who's To Say?
Pat Green


I don’t wear my shirt tucked in
I like a little bbq on Sunday
Well I hang out with a rougher crowd
Who drink too much, who talk too loud
Don’t you know that it’s all right with me
Yeah I don’t go to church too much, but I know that Jesus truly loves me
And if he was here I’d be drinking beer and
Hanging out and saving all of my friends, Amen

Who’s to say and who are you to judge me anyway
This is my road, I take the corner as fast as I can go
Who’s to say how I got so lucky anyway
I am my own at least until the Man comes to take me home

Well I got my mama’s features, and my daddy’s fixtures
All day long I been looking at pictures wondering
How in the hell they came up with me
Well, I’m crazy as a loon, I’m howling at the moon
My baby, she don’t know what to do
She’s wondering how in the hell she’s gonna stay with me
Well, she’s been to church more than Billy Graham
And she knows the Bible like the back of her hand
Yeah but she drinks Gin like it’s going out of style
Oh, it makes me smile

Yeah, who’s to say and who are you to judge her anyway
This whole world spins, never gonna take that chance again
Yeah who’s to say how we got so lucky anyway
We have a home, neither one of us will ever be alone

It’s a lesson of survival
To ride out every trial
It’s the secret of forgiveness
Way down deep inside

Who’s to say and who are you to judge me anyway
This is my road, I take the corner as fast as I can go
Yeah, who’s to say how I got so lucky anyway
I am my own at least until the angels come
Angels gonna come and take me home


This song is posted for Don and Sandra, who had the sense, the belief, and the guts to ask, "Who are you to judge?"
It is for Hugh, who knows Jesus truly loves him and he will never be alone.
For BT, who reminds me to take the corners of life as fast as I can go.

Five hundred, Twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes...

How Do you measure a year?

Wow. You know, I am OLD now, so I must reflect before I get so old I can't remember...

Here are a few things I have learned in the past five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes...

*I actually Do like all kinds of music... and itunes rocks.
*Songs from itunes are not really 99 cents if you include tax.
*No matter what you have experienced in life, someone can top it.
*Some people are just down-right mean. Sometimes it really isn't me, it is them.
*Switching checking accounts is just as fun as having a tooth pulled.
*New cars smell like new car for a long long time.
*BT looks HOT in medieval wear.
*Bangalore is in India and even though they have diseases, they still have computer emergencies.
*Little red headed boys grow up, like it or not.
*Teenagers are pretty funny and have a lot to say if only you will ask the RIGHT questions and listen, really listen.
*I am not as smart as I think I am.
*Hula Boola is alive and well in our house.
*Putting skirting on a trailer house is as hard as it looks.
*I actually do like to work out.
*Craps is fun when someone else does the math.
*Pirates are really important.
*RLP chat is addictive.
*The real way to say it is... EXTRAGAVANT... :)
*Shallow pockets and bathroom visits are no good for cell phones.
*Parties can come in a box and make a big difference.
*BT is an awesome writer...
*If God continues to ask you to serve, you have to start saying YES.
*I am beloved. I am a child of God. I have been called by name. I have been charged to do better, to grow, and to love.
*Everyone else is a child of God, beloved and called.... like them or not.

Wow! What a year! Thanks friends, not only for the awesome birthday wishes, but for being a part of my life. I may not have known you a whole year, I may have known you my whole life, it may just feel like I have known you forever. No matter what, I thank you for making me who I am. You challenge me, love me, laugh with me, and make me better. For that, I am thankful.

Zoom Song... Guest blogger... My MOM!!!

My birthday isn't until Thursday, but Mom is going to be out of town on my birthday and I wanted her to see her blog entry before she left!
Thanks to my mom for this dedication. :) I love it!




I was invited by “Suz” to keep the birthday “ZOOMS” going.
She was almost born on Halloween but missed it a few days.
I should know, I was there. Recently someone (I didn’t
know at all) told me that because of something she saw me
do, I was her HERO. I’m afraid I told her she was hard up
for heroes.---Not a kind thing to say to someone.

I have a HERO. I’ve known her all her life.

A few of her HEROIC qualities I can take some slight credit
for but some are purely her own. She is her own person.

*She holds really strong beliefs. You can talk to her and
give her another side of an issue, but it is difficult to
shake the opinion that she has thought about and has made
her own.
*She is a gifted teacher. She has an innate ability to
know what to do for a student (child or adult) who needs
help. Her empathy draws children to her and she is
respected by students, parents and educators alike.
*She’s a computer geek. When her family has computer
trouble, she is the one we turn to. She didn’t read
manuals or take lessons she just “played” and learned on
her own. She even found her wonderful husband online. She
helps friends and co-workers when asked. She does
presentations to colleagues using the latest techniques.
But ............her most heroic quality is that
*She is a good friend. She knits scarves for friends
to take to Russia, she worries about her friends, she cries
with her friends, she helps, she encourages, she bullies,
she buys (or makes) them gifts. She wants her friends to
be as happy as she is. When her friends disappoint her,
she continues to wish them well.

Now by this time you might think I’m talking about a saint.
As with all heroes, she has her Achilles heels.

------She doesn’t suffer fools. Stupidity can really
irritate her and she has trouble dealing with stupid rules
or those who apply them.
------She is a name caller. Most of her name calling is in
fun. Some names she makes up, but she has had her name
calling moments that might not be in fun.
------She gets her feelings hurt. She expects
professionalism and coutesy from those with whom she works.
At times her expectations are too high and she gets hurt.
She gets over it, but slowly.
-------She likes to be in control.. She would like to be
in charge of organizing and arranging everything. Not that
she has the time or energy to do it, but she “knows how
things should be done” and thinks people should do things
the right (her) way. I think she is working on this one.

If I thought they would get into this blog, I’d put a
picture or two here of the girl I remember as a child, but
I’m sure they would be censored before you read it.
(Because I dressed her funny)
Needless to say I’m proud of this birhday girl and wish her
many, many more Happy Birthdays.
Captain Zoom says to you--- “ It’s your birthday --I’m in
charge of the stars and I’m here to say ,You’re the big
star --today.”
Love ya’ kid,
Mom

For Ginger...

Because Patty Griffin speaks to my heart.
Because I love you and that family of yours...
Because the little dreams we dream are all we can really do.


Kite
Patty Griffin

The Sunday after, there was laughter in the air
Everybody had a kite they were flying everywhere
And all the trouble went away and it wasn't just a dream
All the trouble went away, and it wasn't just a dream

In the middle of the night
We try and try with all our might
To light a little light down here
In the middle of the night
We dream of a million kites
Flying high above the sadness and the fear

Little sister, just remember as you wander through the blue
The little kite that you sent flying on a Sunday afternoon
Made of something light as nothing
Made of joy that matters too
How the little dreams we dream are all we can really do

In the middle of the night
The world turns with all its might
A little diamond, colored blue
In the middle of the night
We keep sending little kites
Until a little light gets through

Lessons from third graders

I am a reading specialist, a reading facilitator, no one is really sure my title... especially me.
I work with first graders mostly, but I get to go hang out with third graders during the day too. It is, aside from the paperwork and not really knowing how to use my time wisely, a great great job. I love it.
I have a small group of third graders at the moment that I work with every day. Every time I walk into their classrooms, their friends in the class beg and plead to come with me too. As soon as I walk in the rooms, you can see the other kids sit up straighter, look at me with a hopeful smile. "Me! I want to be picked next!!" I never do though, (again, we are talking a lack of time here) but it is always great to know that I am wanted and needed.

The biggest group of third graders I deal with consists of boys. No girls, just boys, so it is a challenge finding books that they can read and will want to read.
I used my handy dandy Bookbuilder CD and made books all about them... with their names in them the other day.
You would have thought I gave them gold! These kids were amazed, as they looked onto other books to check and see if their name was on their friend's book too. They read and read the book at least 5 times and were dissapointed when they had to stop to go back to class. This was THEIR book, no doubt. They had been made special. They had been made something important.
One of the third graders, as he was walking away with his book said, "I am goign to keep this book forever and ever. I am going to show this to my son when I am grown up!"
Wow.
It was that important.

Right now I am missing Cursillo. It is happening without me this time because I am WAY too busy. I didn't realize how much I would truly miss the activities, the friendships, the way God talks to you in the craziest ways. I am thinking alot about God recently. I haven't made enough time for God in my life. I haven't been one of those kids who, when God walks in, sits up straight and tall and says, "please pick me!" I have been the one still sitting at a desk, too involved in the work of the day to even notice that a visitor has entered the room. I have been caught up in me, my work, and my life and haven't let God in.

And I know God wants to talk to me. He calls me... Just like he called Zacheus and Samuel, long ago. He called them BY NAME to work with them, talk with them, and love them. Maybe God has taken the time to write my name in a book. Maybe God has taken the time to make things special for me. Do I cherish that enough? Do I appreciate that enough? Do I read that book over and over soaking up the fact that HE used MY name? Or do I just read through it, not noticing what a special gift it is?

I hope that I can take the time today to get past the reading and the research and the dirty house, and focus on God and His Love and I can notice when he walks in the door. I can hear when he calls MY name. And I can say, "Here I am Lord, Your servant is here."