I woke up thinking about the trash. Not a normal thing, I know, but it was early, and I wasn’t about to let the stinky stench of the watermelon rind take over yet another room in my house. So I woke at 6 a.m. with purpose and a mission.
And as B took a shower, I snuck outside and drug the trash down the driveway, where it inevitably tore and leaked chicken and melon juice all over my feet.
After cursing and hobbling to the curb, I looked around and noticed the unusually cool morning and decided I needed to walk. B thought I had totally lost my mind, but since he thinks that on a daily basis, neither one of us worried too much about it.
Now mind you, I love to walk. I love to smell the fresh clean air and enjoy waving at my neighbors… even the insane tai chi lady down the street. So, this was really great. I made plans in my head to wake up at 6 a.m. every morning! I could do that! Yeah, I would become part of this “walking in the morning” crowd. And then something… uh, brought me back to reality in such an evil way… trash day. And then I began looking at the trash. Mind you I said AT and not IN… I am not THAT crazy! How can one household eat that many pizzas? What kind of alcoholic lives here? 6 bottles of rum seems a bit excessive, don’t you think? Ok, so finally by the time I got back home, I had gagged back some choice words and a little bit of throw up and entered my house, vowing to Never walk the neighborhood again… at least not on trash day.

So walking was out, I needed something to do with my energy and summer bordom, so I decided to take up yoga again.
Well I, once in my life, believed myself to be pretty good when it came to the yoga stuff. I could speak the lingo, baby. I knew the difference between warrior and triangle pose. I could not only say the words “downward dog” without snickering, but I could actually do it in a semi public place without feeling too stupid. I wasn’t a yogi by any means, mind you, but I could do my share of the yoga poses.
But then, I got cocky… “too simple” I thought. I need a challenge. I am bored with doing the same routine all of the time… making fun of Sara Ivanhoe’s yankee accent could only last so long. So I did my research and found just the right one for me.
Power Yoga from MTV. What was it I wasn’t getting? The POWER part? Or the fact that it was from MTV? Uh.. don’t know.

So I put the new yoga DVD into the machine today and tried my luck at the new tape.
You ever seen an epileptic chicken? This was exactly what I looked like.
“Put your leg into the air, now swing it down and go to warrior pose, then downward dog, then sun salutation, then back up all the way on your feet arms in the air…” in a span of 10 seconds!
Needless to say, I was a failure at that fun.
I am thinking I will just maybe wake up early and walk only on NON trash days… Maybe I will just wake up at 6 a.m., kiss my husband goodbye, and go back to sleep for another three hours and do that easy yoga at let’s say, noon? Sounds good to me!