Google Rocks!

Someone today did a google search for "kissed my cat, fever blister" and they found my site.
ewww.
If you are making out with your cat, you deserve to have a fever blister.
i am just saying...

In the Closet

I was doing a little cleaning today... Just a little late spring cleaning.
Better late than never, they say.

Here is what I found:
*My driver's license from before I was married.
*My library card from the town I grew up in. Did I ever go there?
*Lots of change from 4 different wallets.
*old shoe strings... (why did I keep old shoe strings?)
*7 book bags.
*an envelope with a stiff new 20 dollar bill. (where did that come from? Was it intended for someone???)
*black socks I have been looking for...
*a recipe for Smores...
A great quote that I liked so much, I wrote down... and then lost.

"No man or woman of the humblest sort can really be strong, gentle, pure, and good without the world being better for it, without somebody being helped and comforted by the existence of that goodness."

Any clue where that quote came from? I guess I could google it.
I like it.
:)

So, what is in your closet that surprises you?

Frat Boy

I want to be a frat boy. I mean not in the hazing, having to pay for friends sort of way... oh no. There are reasons I didn't join any sort of Greek Organization in college...
And I know I am not a guy... I get that. Being an actual Frat Boy isn't quite possible.

But... If I were, it would be so awesome!
I could wear the baggy sloppy khaki shorts with big pockets and not really care how I looked.
In the same vein, I could also wear the cool kid party t-shirts.
I would have a beer belly and slop around in my flip-flops.
I would wear the old trucker caps and look sooo good.
I would curse and spit. Oh yes!! Spitting is a must when you are a frat boy.
I would say stuff like, "dude" and "oh man" and not look like a total freak.
I could talk about football and not worry about hygiene. I could scratch myself in public! I could have actual farting contests and maybe even set a few of those farts on fire. Cause fart fire is always cool when you are a frat boy.
Yep. NO more having to paint my toenails, or work out, or shave my legs. No more having to wear sweaters. Frat Boys don't wear sweaters. NO more close toed shoes.
No more stress and worry... just sloppy and fun.
I am SO there!
Dude, where's the party???

If you could read my mind...

I know this sounds strange, maybe I watched too many movies growing up... but I have this thought every once in a while, that people can read my mind. I know, it is bizarre. It is not really likely. It is very "Freaky Friday" but I imagine it.
I think that is when my mind goes into overdrive. Or is it while my mind is going into overdrive that I wonder if people can read my mind?
Let me give you an example:
Girl in line in the grocery store is in the Express 15 items or less line. She has like 45 items and is seriously copping some attitude. She has a butt tattoo... I know because I can see it since her pants are nowhere near covering up the butt cheeks. I start thinking mean mean things... about how I wish I could just yank up her jeans and how I really am not interested in the butt tattoo she is sporting. How it could be more colorful. I start wondering whose initials those are. Are they hers? Are they the baby daddy's? How many frozen dinners CAN one person buy at one time? Things like that...
When I begin to wonder...can this person read my mind? OH MAN! That would be really bad. How mean a person am I? So I start singing to myself...
For some reason, the church song Sanctuary comes to mind every time...

Lord Prepare me, to be a sanctuary...
Pure and Holy, Tried and True...
With Thanksgiving...
I want to be a living,
Sanctuary... for you...

It not only gets my mind off butt tattoos, but also then makes me think about actually being a Sanctuary... and how God wouldn't want me being so judgmental and stuff.
Works most of the time.

So I go to this place to get my hair cut.
Alice used to cut my hair. She moved and never told me. I showed up one day at Alice's place and it was renamed. Alice doesn't work here anymore. So these new people are there.
Every time, and I mean every time I go there to get my hair cut, I sit back in the chair to get the hair washed and I always hear the same thing... "You want eyebrow wax?" It is more of a statement than a question, although I usually answer with, "uh, no" as if it was a question.
Every time I go in, I get the same statement/question. Yeah, ok. I get it. In your eyes, my eyebrows need taming.
The other day, I walked in on a Saturday and heard this...
Hair cutting woman: OH, Susie... I didn't recognize you! You look different!
Me: oh really? In what way?
HCW: oh, well, it is Saturday. You don't usually come in on the weekend.
Me: uh, ok.
HCW: But... you need eyebrow wax?

I am ready for them to just suggest liposuction too.
Maybe some botox for good measure.

Then there is the place that I work out...
I asked the trainer person to help me with more weights.
Her comments as I am lifting weights...
"Now, remember you NEED to keep doing cardio. You will never lose your weight if you don't keep up the cardio."
She might have said, "You need liposuction?"

So, what is worse? Actually reading someone's mind or having them say in no uncertain terms what they are thinking anyway?

Wouldn't life be a little simpler if we all sang Sanctuary instead?

Join me will you?

Lord Prepare me....
Keep it up!