heaters

For some reason, at dinner last night, we got on the subject of heaters in bathrooms. Our bathrooms in our house don't have heaters, although the guest bath has a ceiling fan, which I think is quite odd but oh so Texas at the same time.
There I was trying to mentally make a connection to heaters when it hit me...this memory that had been suppressed for so long, I didn't even know I had the brain power to hold it in long term memory that long.

I can remember my grandmother's bathroom. It was a HUGE bathroom and I loved it. There were lots of things about that house I loved, but the bathroom was one of them.
She had drawers and cabinets filled with all kinds of fun things for an exploring kid. You never knew what you would find in there. Bobbypins? Got um. Three boxes of hair dye? yep.
Any kind of band-aid you can think of... sure.
All there.
I learned my best bathroom snooping techniques from that bathroom.

But my fave memory was when I would announce, like a princess that I thought I would need to take a bath. I didn't really do this on purpose, I guess I just did it naturally which thinking back on it, totally cracks me up. Do I do it now and not realize it? Probably!
So I would announce that I was planning on taking a bath and then my ADD would kick in and I would get busy doing something else. 20 minutes later, I would finally remember my desire to bathe. I would gather my things and walk in to the ginormous bathroom, and a burst of heat would surround me. My grandmother had, every time, heard my announcement, payed attention to it, and had gone to make my bath experience just a little bit better by turning on the heater. I loved that heater. Not only that, but she would always put the towel right in front of the heater to get it really warm and cozy for me. It was fantastic on cold winter nights. I would lay on the floor and put my little toes right up to the front of the heater and get nice and warm, wrapped in that soft warm blanket.

Funny how we take for granted things people do for us. Funny how that seemed like such a natural thing to me back then. Well of course when I go to grandma's house and take a bath in the winter, the heater will be on. Of course.
Funny how it took a dinner and a crazy discussion of bathroom heaters to realize just how much my grandmother loved me.

funny...

Santa and Aliens

The Drunkenhousewife has had a contest going on her blog. She wants to know why and how people are weird. Hugh won although I think my fear of cotton balls should trump his weirdness, but I am not in charge of the contest am I?
I thought of a story that I told BT last night that goes along with Christmas but shows my weirdness all at the same time....I will have to say that this was not my favorite Christmas ever, but it sure was memorable.

I don't know how old I was when we drove to Disneyworld. I must have been still in Elementary School. We left in a Midas, some sort of RV from the 70s that had a bed and a kitchen and stuff like that. It was rockin' in those days. We left El Paso and went East. I honestly don't remember much of the drive, only that it was forever long and that I slept a lot. We started having car trouble in Mississippi. Don't ever have car trouble in Mississippi! Ugh.
We had to stop for hours, days, what felt like WEEKS to get the car fixed. I remember buying groceries at the store and having to go to a hotel for the night while the Midas got fixed. We were not happy.
(Just as a total side note, I had just gotten the book on how to beat the rubic's cube and I was working on that so hard. I finally got it solved and some mechanic guy was so amazed that I was able to put it together that he asked to borrow it to show the rest of the mechanics. I never got my rubic's cube back. Someday I will go to Mississippi and get my rubic's cube back! Some day!)

After that whole messy rubic's cube thing, I was certainly in a mood wasn't in the Christmas spirit and I started asking my parents questions. One of them was, "Kim's cousin tells me that Santa isn't real. Is that true?"
Silence from my parents.
Then they told of their lies, their deceit. THEY were the ones who put together the swing set in the living room. Not Santa. They were the ones who had provided me with the toys, not Santa. My heart was broken. I wanted to know no more. I didn't want to hear about it. It was mind boggling.
But then, I started thinking. What if these people aren't my parents? What if they are aliens that have taken over my parents bodies? They have come down to earth to SAY those things about Santa so they could harm him! Yep. These were just shells of my parents. My parent's souls were in a space ship somewhere, waiting for me to save their bodies! Surely these could not be my parents. I was convinced. I had to ask questions. Lots and lots of questions to know if they were truly aliens and if so, where were my real parents.

I swear I asked them millions of questions. I couldn't help it.
I wanted to know. I NEEDED to know. My parents lives were in danger! So I asked and asked and asked questions only my parents would know. They answered them all correctly, but it didn't surprise me. Aliens steal your brains too.
I watched them very closely all during that vacation, continuing to test and see if they really were aliens.
Somehow they never seemed to think it was strange, weird even, that I thought they were aliens. They never seemed to tire of the questions and were willing to answer any and all I threw out.
I guess they were used to having a weird daughter back then. I guess they were used to me and my ways.
And I guess I will never know if they are still being controlled by aliens. But I will say, I am still watching them... and secretly, I believe in Santa, no matter what they say!

Theology

First Grade style...


Teacher: (to Julian) tell Mrs. Susiederk your prayer please...
Me: Whaaa? Is that allowed in a public school?
Teacher: Trust me on this one... it is worth it.
Julian: ok I will say my prayer.... Our farter, who art in heaven...
(Try to keep a straight face with that!)

Child overheard while working: Gangsters love God too.


During a writing lesson:
Me: Raymond, Do you have a Christmas tree up at your house?
Raymond: Yep. It is in the living room.
Me: Wow. Did you decorate it already?
Raymond: Yeah. We put lights on it and balls and silver stuff and candy canes and cheeses.
(silence)
Me: Cheeses????
Raymond: Yeah, Cheeses!
Me: uh, what kind of cheeses?
Raymond: Baby Cheeses! The kind that was born on Christmas. (I could almost hear a "duh" in his tone of voice)

Of course! Baby Cheeses and Our Farter they love the gangsters too.

You don't get it...

I have said for a long time, "You don't get it, till you or someone you love GETS it."

My grandmother died of emphysema, from smoking. I GET how someone can die from smoking. I GET it.

Our friends right now are dealing with a suicidal child. I can't even imagine what they must be going through on a daily basis. The terror, the worry, the constant feeling on edge. I don't GET what it is like to live day to day with someone like that. I can listen, I can talk, but I don't really GET it. Luckily for them, they have friends who have gone through this sort of thing and understand. They relate. They GET it...All of it. The highs and lows of it. The worry and the stress. They have felt it. They know the impact. They see it in action. They know.

BT is the researcher in the family. Mention something he doesn't know a lot about and he will spend the next several weeks researching and learning all about that thing. He wants to GET it.

My Best Friend Forever Infinity has AIDS. He has for a long time. I am just now beginning to GET it.
December 1 was World AIDS day. December is AIDS awareness month. Please, take the time this month to be researchers, to learn and not judge, to GET it, before someone you love does.

some quotes

I can never claim that my job is boring!


Child:"I don't like seals! They are scary! They are dangerous! They bite!"
Me: uh, OK. Did one bite you once?
child: No. But they will bite you if you fall at the zoo.

A different kid: Did you take a shower today?
Me: uh, yeah...
kid: oh. I was just wondering.
Me: uh, yeah... why? Do I smell like I took a shower today? (holds breath to wait for the answer)
Kid: Yeah, I guess.
Kid's Teacher: (rolling eyes) Ugh, she got to take a shower this morning and that is all she has talked about all day.
Me: whew... I thought I was really stinking...

(overheard from the classroom near my closet)
child #1: You saw your mom naked yesterday.
Child #2: Nuh, uh... not yesterday!
Me: (thinking to myself) WTF???

Hold On

"Be careful with this treadmill... you might want to hold on. I was running on it last time and it just suddenly stopped. You really might want to hold on."

I admit it. I hadn't exactly been to the gym in a while. Busy schedule, you might say. You know your life is crazy when you don't get home till 8 pm every night.
So when I noticed a clearing in my schedule, I took it. I couldn't wait to work out. Strangely enough, once I get motivated and get my happy self there, I love working out. I love to put on the headphones, turn on my ipod and run. I can drift and think about nothing, or rehash the day if I need to. It was my time to just veg, or think, or whatever I needed to do.

I had already run a mile and a half when she came up to the treadmill right next to me. I was lost in my world. I didn't even know it when she first started talking to me. I had to pull off the headphones quickly and say, "Excuse me? Are you talking to me?"
And there it was... the warning. "Careful with this treadmill... you might want to hold on. It stops suddenly. It did it to me the other day and I nearly hit my head on the bar. Watch out!"
Uh, ok.
thanks.

So the whole rest of the run I wondered, second-guessed, worried. Would the treadmill stop at a moment's notice? Would I need to hold on? Why hadn't this happened before? Would I have rather not known?

Sometimes there are things that happen, things people say or do, some things that really hurt... those things I would have just rather not known. I would have rather have been running my run, singing my songs, and enjoying life. But now I have to hold on for dear life to the bar and hope beyond hope that nothing will happen to me, or people I love.

8 YEARS...

8 years ago today, we were in Vegas.
Merlin was our minister and the world was pretty easy.
We were playing the nickle slots and getting hassled on the streets to come in and play.

8 years ago today, we were dancing and playing and acting like newlyweds.
Sometimes things change, but the acting like newlyweds part...
that pretty much stays the same.

8 years ago today, we didn't know what sorts of things we would face.
We just knew that we would face them together.
We knew we were a team. We still are.

8 years ago today, my dad made a speech and said that I couldn't have found anyone better.
He meant it then and he means it still today.
So do I.

8 years ago today, we became husband and wife.
Every day since, I have thanked God for you.
Every single day.

Smiles

I like to hear you smile. It brightens my day. I like it when you sound happy, when you tell me good news. I like it when, after a hard few days, you can report good news. I like it when life is going your way. It is about time!!! You deserve it and I love you.

Howdy Folks....

I know it has been FOREVER since I have posted anything new. I know, I know. I hear about it a LOT! I have been busy and I have had very little to say, honestly. I mean, busy... work, church, school, blabbity blah blah.
But since the State Fair of Texas started this weekend, I thought I would write something..... here goes...


Growing up in El Paso, I never heard about the State Fair. We lived almost in New Mexico. What did we know about the fair? So when I moved to the Dallas area, I was SHOCKED to find that not only did the fair happen, but kids actually got to take a day off from school to go to the fair. How nutty is that?
Now, the rest of the world calls it Columbus Day, but we call it Fair Day. Every kid in the school and every teacher as well, gets a ticket and everyone has an entire day to spend at the fair.

I have been to the fair several times, played the games, been afraid of the makeshift roller coaster rides, noticed the carnies. I have done lots of people watching, eaten a deep fried snickers bar, been greeted by Big Tex, ate a famous Fletcher's Corny Dog (ew mustard makes it manageable). I even got to watch my friend LT tear apart a large turkey leg as if he was a lion gnawing on his fresh kill. I have admired the cars and been through the Bonnie and Clyde museum. Been there, done that. This year, Marilyn Monroe will be made entirely out of butter. It was Elvis last year. Some card stacker will even be there. OOOOHHHH AAAAHHH.... Yeah, we aren't going this year.

I have to say, the first few times, the fair impressed me. It was awesome. My favorite part, I have to say, every time we go, has to be the pavilion that is full of the newest little gadgety things...the things that someone invented in his basement and I should have thought of, the things that people pay big bucks for and really require a sales person there with you to really seal the deal. I love love love those sorts of things.
I love being able to be the first on my block to own a genuine blabbity blah, that has 5 (count them! 5!!!) very fun uses! I love getting to show off the cool new thing. It is the best.

So that is why I love Canton so much.

yeah, you find your regular artsy craftsy crap at Canton. Everyone and their mother already must have a million pieces of wood with some sort of scripture written on it by now. Every little girl in East Texas must have at least one bulletin board with their name on it and a boa around it. Yards are certainly all decked out by now in any sort of pumpkin shaped piece of wood you can put into the yard, adorned with all the names of the children on each pumpkin.
Yawn.

But, my eyes are always open. I never lose hope.
My friend G and I are always on the hunt for the latest and greatest. We will endure the 10 minute presentation from the drunk man about how useful the metal pole will be for flower pots and don't we want to buy 4. We will listen to the lady talk about how to make fancy schmancy sandwiches, if we even think it is possible that this thing will be the latest and greatest thing around.
And friends, we have found ourselves a winner!!! Ding, Ding, Ding!
A genuine winner in the "man I wish I would have invented that!" category.

But alas, I can't reveal what it is yet... cause my mom is reading and I bought her one and it would totally ruin the surprise...

OK, if you want to know what it is and you AREN'T my mom... click HERE.

Cool isn't it???
I know!
I own one, or two...
And I didn't have to suffer through a corny dog to get it! Amazing huh?

And then it was over....

You know how some sitcoms do it? They decide most gallantly, that they will end before their time? So that their fans can savor and remember, and miss the show?
That's what Thursday was for me.
You can tell we were both thinking it. Today was the day I would leave. Our visit was over. It was a bittersweet ending. I hated leaving and wanted it to keep going, but I knew I had to get back to my life, my home, my family, and my cat who was missing me like crazy.
As we walked to breakfast, I realized that we were both a little sad and really quiet.
Hugh finally said the words first, "I can't believe you are leaving today".
"Yeah, Me neither!" I said, and I totally meant it. The days had gone by too fast. I wanted a few more days of fun. I wanted more days of play and singing and dancing and nighttime talks. I wanted more time to know and love Hugh.
And breakfast came and went and it was over. I was off to the airport and he was off to his apartment cause he was feeling really crappy that day. And it was done.
I smiled as I got in the taxi, but part of me was so sad I could feel it in my bones. My heart was hurting. How much does it suck to have your BFFI live hundreds of miles away?

A month ago tomorrow, I was in Hollywood California. I was playing and singing and talking but most of all, I was changing my life and my attitudes forever. I will never be the same. It is that simple, yet so complex at the same time.

Thanks God, for Hugh. Thanks for taking care of him and for constantly giving him hope. Thanks for letting me spend a little time in his world. Thanks for his friendship. Thanks for making him my partner in crime. Thanks for teaching me lessons I would have never learned before. And thanks for the hope of another visit, or maybe several. :)
Till then, thanks for the phone and email...and for love. That is the coolest thing in the world. :)

Wednesday in California

Wednesday was all about the shoes. I pulled them out of my suitcase, as I got ready for breakfast.
“Those are tiny! How am I supposed to draw on those?” Hugh said.
“Ugh, with markers...duh! I am sorry they aren’t billboards like yours” I replied. We have the sort of relationship in which we can say that stuff to each other without hurting feelings.
And so we thought and though about my nice, clean, white new Converse that were now walking, almost skipping, to the breakfast place.
We sat down in our regular booth and got ready to order “the usual”… I had only been there two days and I had a “usual”. How boring am I?
“OH! Monkeys! Robot monkeys!” Hugh said as we got our drinks.
“Huh? What? Oh, yeah, the shoes. Sorry.” I guess I had been watching David Spade flirt with the waitress and had forgotten….plus the whole ADD thing.
We talked about angels, maybe some robot monkeys, some devils, some wings, but we finally decided on my trip to California. Who needs a scrap book when you can have shoes that represent the same thing? No one sees scrapbooks often. EVERYONE will see my shoes!!!
So as soon as we walked in the apartment, Hugh got to work on my shoes. First he sketched the airplane ride, then the Hollywood sign. On the other shoe, we decided on cars and the other side, would have the dog park with Polly chasing a butterfly. (I have a thing for butterflies)
So, he sketched and then he put them down and looked at them. He sketched more and more until they were looking like the best shoes I have ever seen in my life.
Then the markers came out and they became a masterpiece.
I love my shoes!!! (Although the dog park could use a bench…*cough*.)

Again, we played, we laughed, we watched Pee Wee’s playhouse, and Hugh tried on all of his hats. He looks sexy in a cowboy hat for sure!
We laughed, we danced, we played, we made CDs and laughed at how 70s his music was/is. OMG! Sooooo 70’s! It was really getting ghetto up in there.

And when we could barely keep our eyes open, we went to sleep, thanking Baby Jesus that we had each other and our friendship…and my new shoes!

sorry...

Hi all. I know I haven't finished the story of my trip. I am crazy busy finishing up my graduate class and getting ready for this teenage camp called Celebration that I will be working at this weekend.
I promise more to come soooooooooon!
:)

My trip... the second day!

There are very few rules when you visit Standing Room Only headquarters so you feel pretty free to be yourself.
Rule #1: Make yourself at home. If you want something, go get it.
(I love this rule because it is so like the way things are at my house)
Rule #2: Don’t gripe about stuff or you will get someone rolling their eyes at you.
Rule #3: Know that Polly is the queen. Act accordingly.
Rule #4: You can wake up early, but don’t wake anyone else up till 9 a.m. (which is 11 a.m. my time!)

So Monday night we finally got to sleep at midnight, which happened to be 2 my time, so I figured I would be able to sleep pretty late the next day. Wrong!!! I woke up at 6 California time and was wide awake. I laid in the bed for what seemed like forever and finally decided to get up, trying very hard to be as quiet as possible. As I worked my way off of the air mattress, I knocked over a few things… sending books flying every which way, and in the process, breaking a beautiful (and very expensive looking) dish. OH crap.
Now I had flooded the bathroom AND broken something in the apartment and my visit hadn’t really started yet. Ugh.

And to top it off, in breaking the dish, I woke Hugh up! I broke rule #4!
It didn’t take long though, for him to go back to sleep and for Polly to come over and hang out with me, making me feel a lot better.
Later that morning, we got ourselves up and around and ready to go to breakfast.

The Breakfast place is conveniently just around the corner from where Hugh lives and is a nice, short walk full of awesome people and things to see. First, we walked past a nursery with the coolest plants I have ever seen. People come and go across the street just to visit the nursery, from what I could tell. Then, there is the newsstand where Hugh gets his paper to do the crosswords. The man and woman there are just darling and they love Hugh and Polly. They give Polly treats and tease Hugh lovingly. They are great. I loved them instantly!

I have to admit that I was a little nervous about the breakfast place. I mean, it IS famous! It IS the hang out of David Spade, but most importantly, it is the place where some of Hugh’s friends are. So I wanted to make a good impression.
Polly led us to our table and sat down in the booth, as if she was ready to order her meal.
The waitress there was lovely. She knew exactly what Hugh wanted and brought it out as soon as she saw him come in.
Polly got a bowl of water and she and I shared a delicious breakfast.
I secretly wished I had a breakfast place down the street from my house too.

OH, and then there was the dog park in the afternoon.
We drove up rolling hills on one of the most beautiful drives I have ever been on.
We sang Leela James songs and danced as we drove, with the windows down and the breeze running through our hair. Well, my hair, at least. Hee hee.

The Dog Park is a huge place, surrounded by a fence with a separate place for little dogs to hang out. There are benches and trees and lots and lots of dogs running around. The people I was hoping to see weren’t there, and we were forced to make small talk with random strangers. Poor poor us.
Finally, the puppies came in the gate and they all ran to Hugh like a kid running to their favorite parent at the end of the day. They love Hugh and they all fight to sit on his lap. He called them over and I was impressed with how well he could remember their names and distinguish one from the other. Pearl, the diva of the group, hopped on Hugh’s lap and growled at him for what seemed like forever. I knew when she hopped on my lap, I would be in trouble, but she didn’t growl at me at all. I guess a diva knows another diva.
Polly sat in the sun and enjoyed her friends from afar…too cool join in the running and playing, but not soo cool to totally keep her distance. It was cute really, the queen and diva, even at the dog park.

The evening was filled with Italian Food and singing and dancing and crazy talks.
We talked and talked and talked and joked and laughed and laughed and laughed.

We called BT and he wondered what kind of trouble we were getting into.
And then, there were the talks in the dark. I love love those talks in the dark, when the world is still and the city begins to sleep.

My trip... the first day!

Hugh and I had joked that we hadn’t actually MET. I mean, we talked every day via email and on the phone every once in a while, but we hadn’t actually officially MET. So my plan was, when I saw him at the airport, I would extend my hand and introduce myself. That was my plan anyway… and then I hopped in the jeep… There was Polly looking at me like “uh, who are you and why are you in my space?” (She is, after all, a big diva) We wrestled with my super heavy suitcase and then Hugh leaned over and gave me a big hug and it was over. Introducing myself was out.
Oh well.
All at once, it hit me like a big old slap in the face. THIS is what I have been waiting for for six solid months. This was what I had looked forward to! THIS was what I had imagined in my head over and over again. It was finally a reality. I was somehow sad. Not that it was happening, not that I was there, but that there was no more anticipation. Do you know what I mean? It is hard to explain. I had to say to myself several times, “hey, you are here!!!”
I think Hugh took this as me freaking out, cause he was very quiet, very slow to make any sort of conversation at first. He pointed out usual Hollywood sights and it slowly became a reality in my head. Slowly I began to realize, “WOW! I am HERE!!! How amazing is this???”
We laughed and we joked and we talked about all of the crazy places I saw and we rolled down the road towards Hugh’s place.

He parks in a parking garage, one with a cool garage door opener for the gate. That was really fun. And he has his own parking space… totally reserved for him.
We didn’t lock the car doors, which I found odd, but whatever.
He lives on the third floor of this cool building with little balconies all peeking out into the street. It is in a fabulous part of town, and surrounded by tall buildings. Totally not what I am used to in texas!
As we walked in, I noticed how freakin’ tall Hugh was! I am short, but he is really really tall. It was cute, really, and I am sure we looked like the total opposite couple, walking into the building together.

For some reason, as soon as we walked in, Polly ran down the hall to the elevator. You know how dogs do when they are running on slick floors? They sort of can’t get their footing for a second and slide instead of run? That is exactly what Polly did. It was cute, since those aren’t really diva like actions.

Hugh’s apartment was not really anything like I expected it to look, but so Hugh at the same time. For some reason, I had created a floor plan of his apartment in my head and it SO didn’t match what was reality. That is ok.
The first thing I saw was a giant picture of a man’s butt… I know, it is art but still… ☺
He loves art, natch and he loves books. He loves hand blown glass vases and jars. Everything in his apartment has a special meaning, a place in his heart. Everything has sentimental value, from the beautiful photographs of his mom and grandmother, to his newly acquired print of a truck. It all has a story for Hugh.
I loved hearing the stories. I soaked up his stories and stared at the pictures and the books and the things in the apartment. So these are important things to Hugh… these are important to my friend. I needed to make them important to me.

I gave him some Texas playing cards (since he only has naked lady playing cards) and we vowed to play some Texas Hold’em as he put them in the “card drawer” in a little table between two wickery chairs.

That evening, Hugh and I talked, we got comfortable, we played, we danced, we ordered dinner, and Hugh talked to BT and got advice for how to deal with me for the rest of my time there. We watched TV and talked and talked and ate Chinese food and Polly just watched me and tried to figure out who this strange person was in her space.

That night, before bed, I decided to shower. I proceeded to flood the entire bathroom! I guess the shower head didn’t like it when I moved it down. It started spraying water out the side…something I didn’t notice till I was almost done with my shower.
Yikes.
Here I was in a strange place, and I had totally flooded the bathroom on my first night there! The roll of toilet paper...drenched! My pajamas were soaked! My clothes that I had just taken off were soaked! Yikes!
I am normally not the most graceful kid there is, but jeeze… the first night! What was to become of me by Thursday???
After drying off, hanging up my wet clothes, and putting on clean dry pajamas, it was time for bed.

Hugh had borrowed an air mattress from a friend of his and had set it up in the living room for me to sleep. It was great!
So as Hugh laid in his bed with Polly, I laid in my bed on the floor, we talked in the dark like a bunch of kids at a slumber party, who’s parents had made them turn the lights out, but who weren’t really willing to quite go to sleep yet.
These (come to find out) were some of my favorite times…when we would lay in the dark and talk.
Somehow it is safer to say the harder/scarier things in the dark...

commercial break...

ok, I asked Hugh if I could post this on his blog. He nicely let me be a guest blogger... but I wanted to post this here as well. :) I will write more about my visit I promise! If you haven't read it... please read this...


Isn’t that post the sweetest thing? How nice was it of Hugh to say such great things about me?
I have to say what an honor it was to get to visit him. He was kind, understanding, and truly welcoming. I worried that I would get in his space too much, I mean, he does live by himself most of the time. But if I got in his way, he never once let me know it...even though I flooded his bathroom and broke a dish.
Like he mentioned in his post, we danced, we played, we sang crazy songs, we dished on tv stars, and we laughed and laughed and laughed. I don’t remember the last time I laughed that much! And we talked in the middle of the night as we were drifting off to sleep and we told each other secrets we might not have told anyone else before.
I am so happy to call this awesome person my friend.
I think because of my visit, I am more of a Standing Room Only fan. I am president of the club! I am the cheerleader on the side lines. So, let me do my cheerleading/presidential duties and do a little commercial message for Hugh, who would never do it for himself.

I don’t know about you, but I am willing to pay big bucks for my weekly helping of Entertainment Weekly, my local newspaper, or even to get Cable. I don’t mind paying to be entertained.
So friends, if you are at all entertained by Hugh and his writing, if you are carried away by the images he creates with his posts, if you just once laugh at something he writes, please click on the paypal button on his site and donate to SRO. Or, if you don’t have a paypal account, email Hugh or me and we will give you info on how to donate directly. Think of it as joining the fan club!

Go ahead. Join the club! All the cool kids are doing it!

Hula Boola and lots of love!!!
Nikki (Susiederk)

The Visit Begins.... part 3

Although I continually remain the President of the Standing Room Only Fan Club, Hugh and I actually became friends around December. We have continued this relationship ever since. In our emails, we talk about everything. We could talk about church and God and easily segue into bedazzling outfits or the latest LA gossip… without skipping a beat. I mentioned one day, that I wanted him to come visit us in Texas and he, in turn, invited me to LA. Little did he know how serious I would take that invitation (poor poor him). I bought the ticket in January and he and I waited with baited breath till July 10th.
We planned, we joked, we talked on the phone and dreamed of what it would be like.
We even began the countdown… 14 more days, 10 more days… 5 more days… (I was packed by this time) 3 more days… till it was down to hours… and then I was on the plane. Winging my way to a place I had never been, to see a person I had never met. How crazy am I?
All my friends thought I was crazy. Luckily, BT was on board and supportive.

The plane trip was interesting. It began with the drunken LA girls, buying too many mini Texas mugs at the airport gift shop. (Uh, DUH! Everyone knows you need to buy the BIG Texas mugs… Not the little ones.) They used words like “gnarly” and “for sure” and talked a little too loud for their own good. They were super tanned and super into themselves. “OH”, I thought, “am I ready to deal with the LA attitude???”
And then the plane was late and I finally got my luggage, and walked outside… and there they were! Live and in person! The famous Hugh and Polly! Right there in front of me!
All of a sudden, I knew… I was ready to deal with anything!

More to come…

Message From God.. (part two in a series)

At church a month ago, the guest minister asked the congregation if God ever talked to them. I looked around, astonished that no one raised their hand. God talks to me. I believe God talks to everyone. You just have to be still and listen.

God spoke to me in August. I am surprised that I was ready to listen… I was surprised I was ABLE to listen. I guess when God really wants you to Get It he makes it so you can hear.

We were chatting on rlp chat, like regular…nothing new. I was still in awe of Hugh and his way with words. That never changes. But that day, he was just plain old Hugh, the guy I liked to play the jetsons game with (although he totally cheated). He told us of his life and his birthday and we all marked our calendars and got ready for a virtual party. But God had bigger plans. HE talked to me that day. “Get his address,” he said. “Send him a package, everyone loves birthdays. This guy needs a big birthday gift.”

It took me three days to get the nerve to ask Hugh for his actual address. I was after all still the groupie. I was, after all, still the crazed fan in some people’s eyes. But I got my nerve one night and asked. He happily and easily gave it to me. He wasn’t worried. Maybe God talked to him too. I don’t know.
After asking about a million questions, I was ready to gather things for the package. Honestly, I don’t know what I put in that package. I think I knitted some stuff… I think there were some beads, maybe some balloons… it was meant as a party in a box. It was meant to say, “I think you are great, even if you don’t know me.”

He got it three days early and waited till his birthday to open it. He has more will power than I, certainly. I had done what God asked and it was good. It wasn’t about me. It was about Hugh and his birth, and a reminder from God that he is important.

In the Beginning...

I had crappy handwriting. The crappiest, I guess since every one of my elementary school report cards were very "concerned" about my handwriting. I also wasn't a great speller. I can remember the frustration, the near tears, one day when I couldn't spell the word 'church'. Phonetically it didn't look right... I just couldn't get it.
Because of the bad handwriting and spelling challenges, I was considered a terrible writer. Somehow my teachers couldn't get past mechanics to look at the actual story. Papers I wrote were never praised for content just bled red from errors.

Needless to say, I never never considered myself a writer. I spent so much time editing and trying to spell things right, I had lost all of my energy for actual writing. It was just not there.
But I did love me some great writing. I knew great writing when I saw it. I still do.
Someone once told me, "Good writers ride on the backs of better writers. Find writers you love and ride on their backs till you find your way."

Lucky for me, I know some great writers. That is so cool to get to say... I KNOW some great writers. I don't just admire them from afar... I KNOW them. Ginger for instance! If you haven't been reading her stories from Vacation Bible School, you are missing out on greatness.
And then there was RLP. Ginger actually turned me on to RLP and his honest, no bullshit look at church and religion. I can't just name one favorite story by Gordon Atkinson... I would have to name 5, or 10, or 100!!
And then RLP read this crappy catalog and decided he would quit preaching and go visit Hugh.
And I discovered the world of the Hughman.
How amazing is his writing? He totally looks at world in his own way. Right then and there, I discovered a kindred spirit! He wrote things I thought! I didn't just like Hugh's writing, I adored it. I soaked up every word, like a little kid learning how to play with a new toy.
Hugh's writing spoke to me... It blessed me. It made me laugh. And I love love to laugh.

Last summer, RLP changed his site and created a chat room. The chat reminded me of the after college days when The Circle of Friends and I were scattered to the four corners and we would try to meet and chat to catch up on each other’s lives.
And one day, it happened. THE Hugh Elliott stopped by to chat.
I was floored! It couldn't have been cooler if a movie star had popped in to chat.
THE Hugh Elliott, writer extraordinaire was there, talking to ME. Wow. I was overwhelmed.
I was beside myself. I was the groupie! I was the star struck girl... wanna be writer. Here in my midst was Hugh!

And that was just the beginning, as they say, of a beautiful friendship together...

Part two coming up. :)

California Dreamin...

"Everybody's got a dream... what's your dream?" -Pretty Woman.

I am headed to Hollywood, California tomorrow!
More on that later!!!
Till then...
What's your dream?

Super Powers...

In a session I was in recently, I was asked to introduce myself with my name, where I attend church, and what super power I would like to have if I were a superhero.
OY where is my mom when I need her?
My mom loves the superheros. She totally digs any sort of movie where someone has superpowers! X-men? yep... Superman/Spiderman... yep.
She loves them all. She even saw that crappy one with the kids in high school who's parents are super heroes. Yep. She loves her some Super Power stuff.
So maybe I should ask her that question. She might have already thought about it...

Six Flags of Texas is really in full swing and advertising is all over the place lately. I love how they are bringing back the Superhero into full focus. They have the Superman ride...The Batman... I have noticed though that in all their ads, they show Wonder Woman, but there is no NO ride for Wonder Woman! A disgrace!
There needs to be a Wonder Woman ride!!! For sure!
I can remember being 8 or so and walking around in my Wonder Woman Underoos. I WAS Wonder Woman. You can count on that.
I was fighting crimes, warding off bullets with my iron arm bands. I was a crime fighting machine!

So if I were given super powers, would they be the powers of Wonder Woman? uh, no. Would I like to have Jedi mind powers? hmm... maybe. Would I like to fly? Somehow flying seems a little overrated. How about shape shifting? hmmm... sounds like it could be fun. But then what if you shape shifted into like a bar of soap and then couldn't get back?!!! Yikes.
Actually, the real truth is, I would like to totally heal sick people... not in a "duh, doctors do that!" sort of way. Like in a, "let me touch you and make you instantly better" kind of way. I would be a superhero fighting the villain called AIDS and Cancer! Pow! WAM! I would get rid of those bad boys in one single swoop! No doubt! I would then move on to people who are sick or hurting emotionally. Feel like hurting yourself? Bam... you don't feel that way anymore. Is that a Super Power Really?

And what actually defines a super power?

I think God has given us a super power already. We don't need a cape or a corny costume. We live it every day... Our power is one to make people feel great, or really crappy. I have seen lately, some people use that power for extreme good, and I have seen people use that power for evil. I have to think... really reflect... how do I use MY super power?

How do you use yours???

Someone told me recently that they noticed I was "really good at internet relationships". What exactly should I take from that?
Was that a back handed compliment?

I do admit that had it not been for the internet, it would have been harder to find BT. I do admit to starting my sentences with "well, there is this chat room" more than once or twice, when trying to explain my friendship with someone.
I do admit to sending email to people I haven't ever actually physically met.
I do admit that I will be sitting in the airport on Monday looking for someone I have only seen in pictures.
Does that make me crazy? Really good at internet relationships? Who knows.

Does that make me crappy at real life relationships?
Is it a one or the other type of deal?
Can you have/do both?
I would like to think so.
So, could we turn that around and say that I am pretty good at relationships, especially of the internet variety?

One More Girl...

I took off my iron smile
Because I found it weighed me down
Tomorrow when the world wakes up
I'll be in another town
You don't know what you want
But at this moment it could be me
You move your hand across my knee
Turn me in to some novelty
I guess I'm
One more girl on the stage
Just one more ass that got
Stuffed in some jeans
And it's one more day that you
Don't find true love
Because you don't know
What it means
Did you ever take the time to
Think about who I might be
Where I've been, what I'm thinking
Who I loved, what I've seen
Yeah, yeah
I'm one more car out
On the road that
You might pass on your way home
Someone's sister, someone's wife or
Just some bitch who's probably
Got no life yes I'm
One more girl on the stage
Just one more ass that got
Stuffed in some jeans
And it's one more day that you
Don't find true love
Because you don't know
What it means
One day we'll be a pile of ashes
For the rest of time it passes
So take your hand off my knee
Do you know what it means to be
One more girl on the stage
Just one more ass that got
Stuffed in some jeans
And it's one more day that you
Don't find true love
Because you don't know
What it means


Because I have just discovered how much I love this new Wreckers Album
Because their voices are like angels.
Because I have some friends, teenage or otherwise who are dealing with feeling unimportant.
Because sometimes I feel like just one more ass that got stuffed in some jeans.

Google Rocks!

Someone today did a google search for "kissed my cat, fever blister" and they found my site.
ewww.
If you are making out with your cat, you deserve to have a fever blister.
i am just saying...

In the Closet

I was doing a little cleaning today... Just a little late spring cleaning.
Better late than never, they say.

Here is what I found:
*My driver's license from before I was married.
*My library card from the town I grew up in. Did I ever go there?
*Lots of change from 4 different wallets.
*old shoe strings... (why did I keep old shoe strings?)
*7 book bags.
*an envelope with a stiff new 20 dollar bill. (where did that come from? Was it intended for someone???)
*black socks I have been looking for...
*a recipe for Smores...
A great quote that I liked so much, I wrote down... and then lost.

"No man or woman of the humblest sort can really be strong, gentle, pure, and good without the world being better for it, without somebody being helped and comforted by the existence of that goodness."

Any clue where that quote came from? I guess I could google it.
I like it.
:)

So, what is in your closet that surprises you?

Frat Boy

I want to be a frat boy. I mean not in the hazing, having to pay for friends sort of way... oh no. There are reasons I didn't join any sort of Greek Organization in college...
And I know I am not a guy... I get that. Being an actual Frat Boy isn't quite possible.

But... If I were, it would be so awesome!
I could wear the baggy sloppy khaki shorts with big pockets and not really care how I looked.
In the same vein, I could also wear the cool kid party t-shirts.
I would have a beer belly and slop around in my flip-flops.
I would wear the old trucker caps and look sooo good.
I would curse and spit. Oh yes!! Spitting is a must when you are a frat boy.
I would say stuff like, "dude" and "oh man" and not look like a total freak.
I could talk about football and not worry about hygiene. I could scratch myself in public! I could have actual farting contests and maybe even set a few of those farts on fire. Cause fart fire is always cool when you are a frat boy.
Yep. NO more having to paint my toenails, or work out, or shave my legs. No more having to wear sweaters. Frat Boys don't wear sweaters. NO more close toed shoes.
No more stress and worry... just sloppy and fun.
I am SO there!
Dude, where's the party???

If you could read my mind...

I know this sounds strange, maybe I watched too many movies growing up... but I have this thought every once in a while, that people can read my mind. I know, it is bizarre. It is not really likely. It is very "Freaky Friday" but I imagine it.
I think that is when my mind goes into overdrive. Or is it while my mind is going into overdrive that I wonder if people can read my mind?
Let me give you an example:
Girl in line in the grocery store is in the Express 15 items or less line. She has like 45 items and is seriously copping some attitude. She has a butt tattoo... I know because I can see it since her pants are nowhere near covering up the butt cheeks. I start thinking mean mean things... about how I wish I could just yank up her jeans and how I really am not interested in the butt tattoo she is sporting. How it could be more colorful. I start wondering whose initials those are. Are they hers? Are they the baby daddy's? How many frozen dinners CAN one person buy at one time? Things like that...
When I begin to wonder...can this person read my mind? OH MAN! That would be really bad. How mean a person am I? So I start singing to myself...
For some reason, the church song Sanctuary comes to mind every time...

Lord Prepare me, to be a sanctuary...
Pure and Holy, Tried and True...
With Thanksgiving...
I want to be a living,
Sanctuary... for you...

It not only gets my mind off butt tattoos, but also then makes me think about actually being a Sanctuary... and how God wouldn't want me being so judgmental and stuff.
Works most of the time.

So I go to this place to get my hair cut.
Alice used to cut my hair. She moved and never told me. I showed up one day at Alice's place and it was renamed. Alice doesn't work here anymore. So these new people are there.
Every time, and I mean every time I go there to get my hair cut, I sit back in the chair to get the hair washed and I always hear the same thing... "You want eyebrow wax?" It is more of a statement than a question, although I usually answer with, "uh, no" as if it was a question.
Every time I go in, I get the same statement/question. Yeah, ok. I get it. In your eyes, my eyebrows need taming.
The other day, I walked in on a Saturday and heard this...
Hair cutting woman: OH, Susie... I didn't recognize you! You look different!
Me: oh really? In what way?
HCW: oh, well, it is Saturday. You don't usually come in on the weekend.
Me: uh, ok.
HCW: But... you need eyebrow wax?

I am ready for them to just suggest liposuction too.
Maybe some botox for good measure.

Then there is the place that I work out...
I asked the trainer person to help me with more weights.
Her comments as I am lifting weights...
"Now, remember you NEED to keep doing cardio. You will never lose your weight if you don't keep up the cardio."
She might have said, "You need liposuction?"

So, what is worse? Actually reading someone's mind or having them say in no uncertain terms what they are thinking anyway?

Wouldn't life be a little simpler if we all sang Sanctuary instead?

Join me will you?

Lord Prepare me....
Keep it up!

Things that made me smile today:

In no particular order:

*lots of new posts on SRO.
*email
*my BT
*getting up at 8.
*becoming friends with an old white man, and a man with a gold tooth... at the same time.
*being a pirate again, even for a few minutes.
*watching people who are crazier than me
*sonic ice... an entire bag of it!
*Sports Night DVDs.
*learning a new way to knit
*corny men and cornier lines.
*goldfish crackers
*the thought of a new non-dead ipod
*sending letters with cool stamps on them
*listening to new fun music

What made you smile today?

Running...

Someone told me today that our bodies are not meant to run. She heard it from her doctor. "Don't run unless you are being chased" she claims he said.
Well, I used to hate running. Hate it with a passion. I still am not totally fond of it unless I am on the treadmill and have my ipod plugged into my ears, but I do it.

And oh, the ipod! I have a "workout" playlist. Each song carefully chosen and orchestrated to play at just the right time. Good walking tunes in the beginning, ease into the running with a little bit faster paced song... then crank it up to fast fast running to White Stripes. Luckily, that song is pretty short and I can slow back down just enough to catch my breath, wipe the drippy sweat away from my eyes and have a good fast jog... then back to slower music for a brisk walk, then down down down till I am feeling energized and don't want to stop walking.
This is my work out... each and every time.

Yesterday, I had the best run ever! I mean it! Ever! And that is saying a LOT for sure.
This super skinny girl got on the treadmill beside me about the same time I started...she was beautiful. Not a hair out of place, super cute, and ready to run.
Usually I don't even pay attention to people around me, but for some reason, I did this time.
We both started walking... tunes blaring in my ears... and then the run. Funny how she started running the same time I did. I noticed at one point, that even though her legs are WAY longer than mine, we were keeping the pace pretty well. Wow. Running became fun, like a little game to see how well I could keep up. It was comforting in a strange way, to have someone match steps with me. Then the White Stripes came on and I cranked up the speed, preparing myself for our pace to be off. But she quickly upped the speed and joined along. We were running buddies, pace pals. I was having such a nice run that I even played that White Stripes song again, so I could really run faster, harder, get that energy going (continue to keep up with her). When I couldn't take it any longer, I slowed down back to the jog and watched to see if our feet would continue to move at the same pace. It took a bit of coordination, but we got there. Once again, step by step, we were together again. Amazing.
She ran long after I slowed down to a walk again, but it was fun while it lasted. We never had to say a word to each other. We just kept the pace and kept each other on task. I wondered how crazy it would sound to thank her, for being my running partner that day. I got to think about other things, and got the best run of my life. But I didn't. Call me a chicken.

As this school year is ending, I have been talking to teachers lately who are already making lists of things they need to change for next year. I don't have the energy to plan for next year quite yet. I am still getting over the run of this year.
It has been crazy busy! I have been going to graduate school, learning a new job, trying to fit in in a new school, trying to be a pirate, trying to be a friend, trying to keep up. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes I feel like I fell flat on my face.
The thing that I love though, is that no matter what...no matter the pace I set, BT has always been my running partner. No matter what, he could keep up with me. He matched me step by step. Sometimes the music in our lives got so crazy and so loud and so strong, that I thought I would never catch my breath... and there was BT running along beside me.

I didn't get a chance to thank that girl for being my running partner, but I will thank my life running partner. Thanks for keeping up with me. Thanks for being beside me. Thanks for being there.

NEW SHOESSSSSSSS!!!!

Look at my new cool converse!!! Flowers! Butterflies!!! Pink Trim!
The only thing better would be if they were open toed so I could show off my cutie cute pink polka dotted toe nails.
But here is the kicker... they were in the MENS section of the store... uh, ok.

Poor Hobbes!!!

I found this in my DubbleBubble today at lunch. Uh, yeah, I can relate.
funny how after that, it has the fortune... a smile a day keeps worry away...
so if your computer is freaking out and has a wedgie, I should smile and not worry? Idontthinkso... thanks anyway.

Hobbes, my beloved trusty laptop, my compadre, my entertainment during lunch, my computer bff, my friend... well, he got a wedgie last week. On Monday to be exact! Just 24 hours from when I had to turn in my final paper for my graduate class... my paper which hadn't been printed and was only on the laptop. Ugh, yeah. Maybe I should have smiled more?
Hobbes was toast... and so was I, if I couldn't get to my files.

Due to my husband the research king, we not only got it up and running long enough to back up my hard drive, but he also found the super secret warrenty that apple doesn't like to tell people about. Ah, a new logic board and NO no no fee to me!
Wow.
So, say a prayer for Hobbes. He is miles away from me... missing me... getting new logic, and hopefully, not getting picked on by mean bullies who may or may not give him another wedgie.

Catblogging...

Well, Annie is trying to help with organization...

should I make a label for the side that says CAT...?

shock and awe???

Does this not look queenly??? NO, I am not trying to be royal with the white glove... I am doing my "oh I am so surprised" pose.
but if you think it looks like me blowing kisses to you... then you just enjoy that!

Tuesday's Top Ten...

Here are some things I have learned just this week.

10. I can do third grade math! Yeah for me!

9. I love love love new shoes. I didn't realize what a freak I can be about shoes. I didn't used to be such a shoe-aholic...
I still don't get paying $800 for a pair of shoes... and I don't understand a point in any sort of high heel what-so-ever... but I do love new shoes.

8. Converse shoes, especially, are the bomb. If you don't have any, you are not cool. sorry to break the news to you.

7. I am not a make-up girl. I went to sephora. I spent half the time figuring out what the purpose was to most of the things in the store. I am not meant to wear blue or purple eye shadow. I have no purpose in lip stick. Lipstick on me looks like an old grandma trying too hard...
I am not that girly. I do not see a point in make-overs as they make them over to look like big skanky hos.

6. You can cure hiccups by putting your face in ice water... or so they claim.

5. Having a party without people is sort of dissapointing. I guess we should have invited some.
More brisket for us, I guess.

4. I might complain about parts of my body, but I am really glad to not have man hands.

3. When the temperature gets into the triple digits (101 yesterday) in April, the electric company doesn't know what to do and there will be power outages. These are normal and not something to worry about.

2. Watching a movie long distance isn't as hard as it sounds and might be one of the funniest things I think I have ever done.

and the number one best thing I have learned this week.... (drum roll please!!!)

1. The labyrinth is the coolest thing about Lent. If you take the time to talk to God, he will listen and talk back.


The teacher in me can't help it... boys and girls, what are some things you have learned this week???
feel free to let me know in your comments.

P.U!!!

This picture totally cracks me up! I need this t-shirt.

BT was just smoking a super smelly cigar. PU!!!

I walked behind two ladies at the grocery store who left the biggest fart fog ever... PU!!!

why does my house smell like wet cat??? PU!!!

stink-o-rama....

Baby Doll

She stops and checks her reflection in a car parked on the corner
She says its hell on me this working down at the diner
Some people say man she was hot back when she was younger
Yeah well she was a dancer when she lived in LA

Well she was someone’s baby doll
A beauty queen to someone long ago
For the midnight show

Its time to wake up baby doll
Put your best dress and your high heals on
And dream your gone

When you close your eyes
You hear the music playing
You can see her dancing underneath the spotlight
And when she sleeps she dreams she’s back in Hollywood
When she was a younger girl – a pretty heart in a tainted world
Not sure who you wanna be
Your daddy’s little drama queen
I hope that when you find yourself
You’re more than just a baby doll
-Pat Green...

because...
when I taught kindergarten, there was a grandmother who insisted we call her grandchild sparkle baby. Like when calling roll, we had to call out... sparkle baby...
she was someone's baby doll... I always wondered how long she would have to be sparkle baby... junior high? High school?

because...
I hadn't heard this song in a long time and I love it.

because...
I hope you are someone's baby doll... forever and always.

because...
I hope that when you find yourself, you're more than just a baby doll.

yep...

I love this quote!

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
- WH Auden

Things I saw and heard today...

7:15 a.m. a little boy not more than 5, in spider man pajamas, running across the street. He handed the crossing guard a mug of coffee, ran back across the street and back in his house...cute!!!

7:45 a.m. an actual magic wand!! It lights up and makes magical noises! I must have one of these. I magic wanded all the kids in the hall and they were crazy quiet. I HAVE to get me one of those!!!

8:00 a.m. the caterpillars are here in first grade! I suggested to the teachers that they make sure to tell the kids that caterpillars don’t grow when it is noisy. It works for about 10 minutes... ah, silence!!

1:30 Ladybug sex!!! OMG I have seen more ladybug sex in the past week that I ever want to see!
Ladybugs have sex, I understand, for two hours at a time! Wow.

2:00 End of first grade recess. Air conditioning is on the blink. Things are really starting to STINK. The teachers are wilting!

2:15 Story time for first grade. I get shushed 15 times by the children for being too dramatic in the reading... "you are keeping our caterpillars from growing!"
who's idea was it to tell them caterpillars need quiet to grow?

3:20 Dismissal... a third grader came up to me and tried to save my soul!!
Him: Uh, I have a very important question to ask you
Me: uh (worry) ok...
Him: Is Jesus Christ your Lord and savior?
Me: uh, yeah.
Him: Are you a Christian?
Me: uh, yeah.
Him: oh good, cause if you weren't I was going to say you needed to come to my church.
Me: uh, yeah.

What is it about me that looks like I need saving?!!!


6:30 p.m. BT and I watch two men smoke pot in the car in front of Chilis. Are they working on developing an appetite for Chili's food? Skanky Mcskank Boobalicious pulls the two men out of the car, baby in tow, ready to eat.
OH MY.

It has been a day!

Questions...?????

A friend of mine says I ask WAY too many questions. As a matter of fact, he told me that if someone ever broke into the house, I could just ask that bad person questions to scare him away.
Ha ha.

So here are a few quesitons that I have been milling over...some deeper than others...some, you have answers for...some you don't.


*Why is it that every time I got to Sams, SOMEONE is eating pizza?
Are they starving? Does anyone ever say, Hey, I am hungry, let's go to Sams and eat pizza?
Have they ever tasted that pizza before?

*What is with the berry fetish that Dr. Pepper/Motts has? Since BT works there and brings samples of things, I can say first hand that there is a berry thing going on. It started with blueberry apple juice... gross, then some sort of tropical berry apple sauce... extra gross, then there is the new fancy shmancy berry cream Dr. Pepper... the jury is still out on that. Since I have a free coupon for a 12 pack, I guess we will see soon.

*What is it about Oprah that makes her seem like an expert on anything? I am totally not dissing on Oprah, I could honestly take her or leave her, but I work out with the "Oprah" crowd. They like to talk about her like she is an expert on EVERYTHING. I have had enough with the Oprah crowd. Why is there even an Oprah crowd???

*Why is it, when you think you have a breakthrough in the ever constant issue of bad hair days, and you think you have come up with the solution, your solution suddenly doesn't work when you have to present to 75 teachers for three hours?

*Why am I getting emails still about some kid's science project and sending postcards to some other country? Why do people forward these things? Why do they not check facts? Why does no one but me know how to go to www.snopes.com?

*How do I nicely tell someone to take me off of their joke email list?

*Why are tortillas not in the "mexican" section of the grocery store?

*When am I going to ever catch up on all the things I was supposed to do three months ago?

*Why is it that knitting is the new cool kid thing to do?

*Is panic! At the disco a group or a soundtrack?

*Why do people call you and not leave messages?

*Is the dog whisperer really whispering to dogs or is he just teaching the owners how to be better owners?

And in honor of Lent, I ask this question which is the most important one...

*When are we as Christians going to get that it is all less about judgement and totally about God's unlimited Grace?

Feel free to answer as many as you can. You will be not be graded, unless your answers are just stupid.
I have a dunce cap for that!

Big Plans

It is officially the 4th day of my spring break and therefore, on the down hill slope toward the end.
And what do I really have to show for it? Nothing.
I had big plans, you know. We all do. Big plans to change the world in our free time. Ah! Throw on your super hero cape and change the world!!! Big plans to catch up on the house that has been neglected, friends that have been neglected, knitting, blogs... all things that have been neglected. I had big plans to clean out closets and drawers. Big plans to clear out cabinets of clutter, and the garage of unneeded teacher stuff.
I had big plans to write blog after blog about my feelings/experiences. I had plans to write a novel, (ok, maybe not) and catch up on homework that MUST be done by next Tuesday. I had plans, but yet I sit and knit. I even tried to open the books today. "Oh, I will be studious and read," I thought. But the spring weather and the knitting called me to knit outside.
Oh, I will get one more row done and then... oh, gosh, now I have to change to knit 3, purl 3, I can't possibly stop now!
This is my world. Thus is my life.
My house looks at least like people could actually live in it now without catching some crazy disease. I will have dinner tonight with friends, so the catching up on neglected friends is getting better. And now, I blog. If nothing else that to tell you what a slacker I am.
If only I could type and knit at the same time!
But for now, on this, the Thursday of my spring break, the super hero cape is now neglected. It sits waiting for me to get the energy to actually DO half of the things I planned on doing.
Till then, I knit. But isn't that the point of Spring Break? To actually take a BREAK from the crazy things in life? Isn't that the point, to take it easy, spend some time with us, our families, and our friends? or am I just making excuses? Or does it really matter?

For now, I will just work on kitting a person who can wear the cape and do the work for me.

TEXAS

Yep. today is the day!!!
Happy birthday to my uncle bill... and happy independence, Texas.
:)
Yippee.

Sushi

hmmm... sushi is a strange word. It is fun to say though. The way your mouth moves when you say it.
As if forcing you to smile.
Sushi is an acquired taste. Some people think it is too fishy. Others just don't get it all together.
Sushi isn't strange to HAVE for lunch. But it is strange to BRING for lunch in a sponge bob lunchbox, when you are wearing cat shoes.
I am just saying....

Just a thought...

There are things you can't write in a blog. NO matter how much they stick to the core of your being. No matter how strongly you believe them, think about them, become them, the words don't come. They can't come. People might worry about you if you say them. People might wonder. People might laugh or think differently about you. So you keep them inside in that safe place you call your heart. You trust them to your closest friends, but you don't dare to write them down. Doing so would make it all the more real.

fever blisters and cat shoes...

It is funny the kinds of things you get stuck in your head.
No amount of reasoning can help it.
I had to have been 7, maybe 8 when I saw a high school kid on crutches. I asked his friend, also a smart assed teenager what happened to make the guy break his leg. The friend told me, as matter of factly as he could, that the guy hadn't cut his toenails, had fallen, and broke his leg. When you are 8, these things are logical. Young brains can reason out anything. Even now, I know how bones break, but you can bet my toenails are always super short.

Funny how things get stuck in your head.

When I was in high school, I kissed a boy. Not just any boy. My boyfriend's best friend. Long story. Very long story. But the next day, I had the biggest fever blister of my life! Bigger than life, I thought. Oh crap. Does Boyfriend's best friend have one too? Surely that would be our sign to the world! Surely that would tell on us.
But luckily for us, he didn't. I still carried around the fever blister, my own little scarlet letter that only I knew about.

Funny how things get stuck in your head.

January was, for better words, a craptastic month for me. Pretty crappy indeed. I screwed some things up pretty badly and I beat myself up pretty well for it.
I didn't do anything like kiss a boy I shouldn't have, but I did do some stupid stuff. And all of a sudden, there comes a fever blister. There comes my scarlet A for all to see. My big sign announcing to the world what a screw up I am.

Funny how things get stuck in your head.

So, I have been carrying around the scars of a fever blister now for a month. It hasn't healed. It hasn't gone away. I can't seem to heal either. I can't seem to let go of the past and my being less than perfect. I can't seem to heal the emotional scar either. But I am working on it.

Funny how things get stuck in your head.

I bought some cat shoes the other day. I decided that they would get me out of my funk. They were my good luck charms. They were going to heal my scars.
I know, really and truly that only I can forgive myself for letting myself down, shoes won't do that for me... but in my mind, they are what will escape me from my funk. So far they are working.

Funny how things get stuck in your head...and on your feet.

Kryptonite

I bow down to the power of the calendar. I do. You are my Kryptonite. You are my weakness and I humbly acknowledge that fact. I don’t deny it. I don’t try to fight it. I know. I made a mistake. I confidently filled you, dear calendar, with all of my important information. All of my plans for the near future. All of my hopes and dreams for the coming weeks, I unabashedly gave to you, blindly and hopefully. You had stayed with me for so long. You were my robin, my girl Friday (get it… calendar, Friday…), my great sidekick. You were there. You were true blue. You were reliable.

Can we get together Saturday for dinner?
OH, let me check my calendar…
Can you present a writing session next Thursday?
Oh, I am pretty sure but let me check my calendar…
You were right by my side.
And then you weren’t… and my world changed.

It was a pretty sudden thing actually. One minute I was marking in you, giving you more of my plans for the future as I always do, and next thing I knew, you were gone.
And like a flash, as if lightning had struck, my world was changed.
I was dumb. My brain was gone. I was lost.

BT: What are we doing next weekend?
Me: uh, I don’t know… uh, (drool)

It was like I was walking in a fog. I was half there. Like that feeling you get when you drink too much Nyquil… I couldn’t shake it.
What was wrong with me? Not enough sleep? Not enough vegetables? Not enough vitamins? I tried them all. But you calendar, you knew my real weakness… you knew what would get to me more than anything else. You knew this couldn’t be solved with echinatia.
You knew.
I even tried to recreate you. Called people, borrowed their brains for a while, used their memories. It worked for a little while, but in the back of my mind, I knew it was inferior substitute compared to you and your powers.

You must have felt sorry for me, beloved calendar, because you showed up.
I couldn’t have been happier! I instantly felt myself get smarter.
I instantly felt the fog lift.
I know now. I will not be so careless.
So I bow down to you my dear calendar. You rock. You are the bee’s knees.
Thanks for coming back.
My family thanks you. My brain especially thanks you.
Now, can you help me find my keys?

Letter to God

Hey God.
Yeah it is me again. I've been talking to you a lot lately.
I just wanted to say thanks for some stuff if you don't mind.
Thanks first of all for my family. They so rock my world. I got my independence and my stubbornness from my parents. They can argue about which side of the family...
Thanks for BT and Annie.
I like that they are beside me every night in bed.
That makes me feel pretty warm and cozy and safe even if they are snoring like crazy.

Thanks for my friendship with that hughman. Between him and BT, I laugh like nobody's business these days.
Thanks for Polly... without her, that hugh would be a little lost in the world.
Thanks for my friends. I totally love that they are there and know little secrets about me. (even if they give me a hard time about having a pony)
Thanks for pirates. period.
Thanks for prayer and the way you give us a direct line to you. No long distance charges! No need for expensive internet! Wow. Totally cool.
You rock God.
Thanks for teenagers and the chance to show them Your Love and Grace this weekend and every weekend.
Thanks for life and love and passion.

Oh, and thanks for being you.
Yeah God.
Keep doing what you are doing.

Love,
Me