I make scarves.

Yeah, you know I learned to knit this summer. It has become a great way for me to relax after a long day. It is a time killer when I am bored out of my mind, which lately hasn't been so often. And it has been a way to hang with friends. My Knit Wit group rocks.
When we get together, we have to find the comfiest chairs... so we usually go to Starbucks, although I hate coffee. What they lack in their supply of tea, certainly they make up for in the comfy chair department, so I go.
We sit and talk about stuff.
Breezy is the teenager of the group, so she usually fills us in on the life of a high schooler and we just laugh and laugh and remember the days. Tracy and I just are thankful we don't have to re-live being a teenager. We listen to music from the ipod and sing quietly. I mean, Starbucks has their share of freaks, they don't need us to add to the numbers.
We laugh and laugh till at least one of us cries. A prank call to Aaron (of The Story of Anthony) always happens. Poor Aaron! I don't know why we pick on him, but we do!
We each come with our own project to work on and we help each other out. Breezy is still learning, so she is making sample potholders. Tracy makes baby booties and kid outfits.
I love making hats, so I am usually working on one or the other, but now I am about to start working on a Polly sweater for Hugh. We love hanging with each other and being part of a group.

It all began though, our little group, with the scarves.

Let me explain. My friend Tracy hasn't been my friend for very long, so the details of this story are sketchy at most.
I will tell you the little that I know, and maybe you will understand.
Tracy was sort of a wild child in her younger days. She was in love with a boy and was dating him when he decided to move to Texas. She followed him here and then not long after, he stopped calling her. He just left.
That was the biggest gift he could have given her though because she found Steve. Steve is such a great guy! They married and not long after they were married, Tracy discovered she had ovarian cancer. It was serious.
She needed surgery and chemo stat! So it happened and these newlyweds, still glowing from the new union, had to realize rather quickly that they would not have a baby of their own. Steve had to walk every day through the nursery in the hospital, to get to his sick wife. Life creates the cruelest jokes sometimes.
Tracy has healed and now they are hopeful about adoption. They have filled out paperwork and gone though all the steps to adopt a baby from one of the Russian orphanages.
They know that at any minute, they could be called to go to Russia to pick out their baby. They also know that they must bring gifts to all of the orphanage workers. What a racket.
So, we make scarves. We make them for the workers and for the kids and for everyone Tracy needs to impress when she goes to Russia. We make scarves because we love Tracy and Steve and want them to have a gift from heaven.

The news from Russia is not good. They have stopped adoptions recently. The scarves just sit, ready for cold necks. The babies wait for parents while the government gets itself sorted out.

Until then, we will continue to knit scarves, baby blankets and little booties. We will sing and laugh and prank call Aaron. We will love each other and pray. That is the best we can do.

I literally work in a closet most of my day. I have an actual office, but I am never there. So as I sit in the closet, and as I travel between classrooms, I hear and see lots of interesting things.

Things I heard/saw today...
* The picture above is a gift from my little friend from "Nahlens". Notice the happy face? Notice the blue skies. He is healing so beautifully. :) I look forward to seeing his smiling face every day.

* ANTS!!! This morning, I discovered my closet is infested with ants. Could it be the fact that I eat lunch back there every day? hmmm... Anyway, I noticed a nice little line of ants, all going to one location, all working together. Then, there was this one ant... wandering away from the group. I thought, "You go little wandering ant!"
In life, I feel like that ant most of my life! I am either wandering away from the group because I am being defiant, or just because I don't know what the heck I am doing... Usually the latter, is the case. No matter what, I admired that little wandering ant.
I feel your pain, friend.

* Walking in the hallway, I saw a little boy peeking his head out of the bathroom. As soon as he saw me, he sang at the top of his lungs..."I feel good, na na na na na na na."
Yeah, honey, somedays after going to the bathroom, I am ready to sing that too!!

* From a substitute trying to teach safety..."If you get hit by a car, you might die, and that would be sad." uh, yathink?

* From the classroom next door, "What color IS Miss Muffett?" -isn't that up there with "what color is God"? Wouldn't we ALL like answers to that question that keeps us up nights!

* Thirty bright shining fifth grade faces tonight at the PTA meeting all singing "Lift Every Voice and Sing."
I was a slobbery, crying mess by the end of the song!

Hi. My name is Susie and I am a control freak.

they say the first step is admitting...

Say it slowly... I can do better. I don't need to take control...of everything.
I will not try to take over someone's classroom.
I will not make teachers cry.
I will be nice and represent the Hula
Boola to the best of my ability.

Scars...


Ok, here is a newsflash. I am not the most graceful person on the planet.
I try not to wear white shirts any more since every white shirt I own these days has some sort of stain on it.
I run into things, too, all the time as a matter of fact. I am considering a big padded bumper for the foot of the bed.
Hey, what's that bruise on your leg? Oh, the one that is the same height as the bed? Well, the corner of the bed moved in the middle of the night and attacked me.
So, this summer, on the mission trip, we did some climbing. Not huge mountain climbing mind you, just some treading on slickish rocks. So, surprise surprise, I fell.
I can actually hark back to the scene. I was trying hard to walk as carefully as I could, but something happened. My footing was off and I slipped. I didn't fall far, but I fell hard. My camera came crashing down on the rock and so did my butt and my right arm. All got bruised pretty badly.
Soon enough, I got bandaged, on flat land, and chastised by a bunch of teenagers for being so clumsy. Nothing like being chastised by teenagers to make you feel old and stupid. Oh and thank goodness this happened at the beginning of the mission trip so I could hear about it all week! What great fun that was!

So, three months later, the bruise on my butt has healed but the scar on my arm from the fall is still there.
I have been looking at that scar recently. I could get some "stuff" and make it heal, or I could leave it there. It is sort of a battle scar for me. A memory of sorts.
It becomes a division of time, in a sense. Did you know me before or after I met B? Before or after I moved to Indiana? Before or after the scar? See? It is a mark in time.

Today is September 11th... another passage of time. Everyone always says, "Where were you when you heard the news? Do you remember what you were doing?"
I remember I was giving my first graders a test and wondering if my husband and pen pal were all right.
September 11th changed our lives. It changed our world in so many ways. It made us angry. It made us stop trusting. It made us realize that we were vulnerable to our enemies. It also created heroes of great proportions.

Katrina is similar... life will be different now. Because of Katrina, people are living in churches, at homeless shelters, in major sports arenas. I know that Katrina has changed lives and has totally taken away more than I can imagine. Our schools are full and the town seems to be busting at the seams with so many bodies. Like I said before, Texas has opened up it's Big Tex sized arms and said, "Come on in y'all! Pass the fajitas!"
But that is the greatest part! I think it has given us hope. It has made us gain faith, and forced us to become the face of God to strangers. It is making us love, accept and grow. It is making us work together and wrap our loving arms around each other and heal each other.

My arm won't ever be the same again after that fall. I am convinced of that. Neither will we as people be the same again. Hopefully, because of this, we will learn, grow, and open up our hearts to each other like never before. We will mark our lives by those scars.... and we will be better for them.