More from my friend J.

Ok, so yesterday, we were reading a book titled The Water Park about animals going on the water slide.  So in writing, I suggested we write about playing in the water...

I thought that would be simple enough...

Me: So, J do you like to play in the water?  Have you ever been to a waterslide?

J: no.  Never.

Me: Really? How about a pool.  In the summer do you ever go swimming?

J: No. I don't have a pool at my house. 

Me: Me neither but sometimes I swim at other pools.  You don't?

J: No. I don't. (shakes his head like I am the craziest person on the planet)

Me: How about in the summer, do you like to play in the sprinkler or have water balloon fights or play with water guns?

J: No, I just play Goddess of Weather.  I told you this already.

Me: Yeah, I remember.

J: Oh, and I like to play the "pee outside" game.

Me: The pee outside game?

J: Yeah, I pee on trees.  My brother pees on trees.  My sister tries to pee on trees but it doesn't work. 

Sometimes here at school I pee on trees. 

So, friends, if you see a kid out in your yard, holding a stick and peeing on your tree, just tell him to get his power of rain and get off  your lawn.  Or throw a water balloon at him.  Then at least we will have something to write about on Monday!

Now for something completely different...

Because I am even boring myself with this pregnant girl talk...

I entertain you with stories from my school.

My new little boy who is truly an "odd bird" and I were talking about what he likes to do when he is at home. 

J: Well I love pink.  Did you know I love pink?  It is my favorite color of all times.  I love it all the time.  I love pink (insert Jazz Hands here).

Me: That is really nice.  I like pink too.  But I was asking you about what you like to do at home. 

J: Did you know spiders shoot webs out of their butts?  

Me: Interesting.  So are you going to tell me what you like to do at home?

J: Sure!  I like to go outside with my sister and my brother and we like to play, (Insert Superhero announcer voice here) Goddess of (not sure, he has a speech issue... sounds like Leather) 

Me: Goddess of Leather?  How do you play that game? (I am wincing as I wait for an answer) 

J: Not Leather! (rolls eyes like I am an idiot!) Goddess of Leather Leather!  (I swear that is what it sounded like to me) 

Me: I don't understand,  Goddess of Leather? 

J: You know, like winter, spring, Summer, you have rain and snow and...

Me: Oh!  Goddess of Weather!  I see!  (with quite the relieved voice) 

J: Yeah.  But you need sticks to play. 

Me: (furrowed brow) sticks?  What do you do with sticks?

J: You each pick one up and hold it in the air and you get the power of whatever weather.  Mine is the power of rain/wind.  (yes, he said slash!) 

Me: Ah, I see. And what can you do with the power of rain/wind?

J: You blow things up of course!  

Me: Of course! I should have guessed that!

J: And my sister has the power of snow.  My brother has the power of ice.  

Me: So could I play if I had a stick?  

J: No. You can only play at my house.  If you came to my house with your stick, you could play.  

Me: Oh, I see. 

J: Did you know what I did in the bathroom today before school started? 

(another wince moment... what do I say?  Sure! Tell me?  Uh NO! but he doesn't wait for me to respond)  I threw up.  It was gross.  It was that yucky donut from breakfast.  

Me: Yeah, I have that issue with Nacho cheese lately.  (but I am pregnant, what is your excuse?) 

On cafeteria duty this morning at breakfast.  

Me: (to a very round little boy) You need to come sit right here in this spot.  (To a smaller version of the round little boy) And you can sit right here with your brother. 

Round Little Boy: How did you know we were brothers?  

Me: Gosh, I don't know.  I guess I am just smart that way. (It has nothing to do with the fact that you could be twins!) 

RLB: You must be super smart to figure that out! 

Me: Yeah. That's me!  Goddess of Brilliance!

If J can be Goddess of Weather, I can be Goddess of Brilliance!