The Pursuit of Cool
To steal words of Chuck Sigars from The World According to Chuck, “I love, love, love my memory key”. I love that I can I carry super secret information on my key chain. I love that no matter where I am, I can whip out my handy dandy thumb drive, put it into any USB port in a computer anywhere, and show off photo’s from B’s birthday. I think the best thing is the look on people’s faces when I pull it off of my key chain. Makes them think that for one fleeting moment, I am the coolest person they have ever met.
It’s not that I crave cool or anything. Isn’t that what makes someone cool… the fact that they don’t care if they are or not?
As a matter of fact, I considered myself to have a semi-coolness about me. I am hip on the Nick and Jessica’s spoiled antics. I love the Fab Five and their slobby straight man makeovers. I can argue the pros and cons of Lucas and Payton finally getting together. I had heard rumblings of a breakup before Tom and Penelope actually announced to the world. I was clued in. I like to call that “pre-cool”. I listen to the White Stripes and Fountains of Wayne. I’ve got it going on you might say, or so I thought.
And then one day, you flip the channel after watching a When Harry Met Sally for the 100th time, and you find that thing called TRL and you realize you have no chance in the race to be cool. Might as well just stop trying.
Tattoos are cool. Did you know that?
And putting rings in part of your body besides you ears is “the bomb”. Thongs, both for the feet and the butt are the coolest, even in the winter. Showing the thongs is the key to all happiness, once again, even in the winter. There is an actual show where people spend all kinds of money “pimping” someone’s ride instead of just buying a brand new car. Amazing!!
OK, so I am not as cool as I once thought. I plan to keep by butt and my toes fully covered and I don’t even like earrings, so I can’t see punching holes in any other parts of my body. I will keep my “ride” un-pimped thankyouverymuch.
Maybe I shouldn’t try to compare myself to teenagers. I shouldn’t try to keep up. For goodness sakes, if you think about it, half of the stuff they think is cool now, I used to play with or wear as a kid. Care bears are back. Friendship bracelets? Been there…know how to tie those knots. Tube socks with stripes and short shorts with piping up the sides… not cool when I was ten, not cool now.
I think I’ll just live in my pre-cool world where Stevie Ray Vaughn and Cheryl Crow still make me dance around the house and feel cool. My world, where One Tree Hill and Law and Order can live cohesively. Where, every once in a while, when I pull out my super cool technology to show to the world, I am the Queen of Cool. That is good enough for me.
