I can never claim that my job is boring!
Child:"I don't like seals! They are scary! They are dangerous! They bite!"
Me: uh, OK. Did one bite you once?
child: No. But they will bite you if you fall at the zoo.
A different kid: Did you take a shower today?
Me: uh, yeah...
kid: oh. I was just wondering.
Me: uh, yeah... why? Do I smell like I took a shower today? (holds breath to wait for the answer)
Kid: Yeah, I guess.
Kid's Teacher: (rolling eyes) Ugh, she got to take a shower this morning and that is all she has talked about all day.
Me: whew... I thought I was really stinking...
(overheard from the classroom near my closet)
child #1: You saw your mom naked yesterday.
Child #2: Nuh, uh... not yesterday!
Me: (thinking to myself) WTF???
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