I entertain you with stories from my school.
My new little boy who is truly an "odd bird" and I were talking about what he likes to do when he is at home.
J: Well I love pink. Did you know I love pink? It is my favorite color of all times. I love it all the time. I love pink (insert Jazz Hands here).
Me: That is really nice. I like pink too. But I was asking you about what you like to do at home.
J: Did you know spiders shoot webs out of their butts?
Me: Interesting. So are you going to tell me what you like to do at home?
J: Sure! I like to go outside with my sister and my brother and we like to play, (Insert Superhero announcer voice here) Goddess of (not sure, he has a speech issue... sounds like Leather)
Me: Goddess of Leather? How do you play that game? (I am wincing as I wait for an answer)
J: Not Leather! (rolls eyes like I am an idiot!) Goddess of Leather Leather! (I swear that is what it sounded like to me)
Me: I don't understand, Goddess of Leather?
J: You know, like winter, spring, Summer, you have rain and snow and...
Me: Oh! Goddess of Weather! I see! (with quite the relieved voice)
J: Yeah. But you need sticks to play.
Me: (furrowed brow) sticks? What do you do with sticks?
J: You each pick one up and hold it in the air and you get the power of whatever weather. Mine is the power of rain/wind. (yes, he said slash!)
Me: Ah, I see. And what can you do with the power of rain/wind?
J: You blow things up of course!
Me: Of course! I should have guessed that!
J: And my sister has the power of snow. My brother has the power of ice.
Me: So could I play if I had a stick?
J: No. You can only play at my house. If you came to my house with your stick, you could play.
Me: Oh, I see.
J: Did you know what I did in the bathroom today before school started?
(another wince moment... what do I say? Sure! Tell me? Uh NO! but he doesn't wait for me to respond) I threw up. It was gross. It was that yucky donut from breakfast.
Me: Yeah, I have that issue with Nacho cheese lately. (but I am pregnant, what is your excuse?)
On cafeteria duty this morning at breakfast.
Me: (to a very round little boy) You need to come sit right here in this spot. (To a smaller version of the round little boy) And you can sit right here with your brother.
Round Little Boy: How did you know we were brothers?
Me: Gosh, I don't know. I guess I am just smart that way. (It has nothing to do with the fact that you could be twins!)
RLB: You must be super smart to figure that out!
Me: Yeah. That's me! Goddess of Brilliance!
If J can be Goddess of Weather, I can be Goddess of Brilliance!
3 comments:
I had a little blond haired boy with great big blue eyes and he looked like an angel. He was just about to turn five years old. Expecting his baby sister in a couple of months, I took him with me to shop for some gowns to take to the hospital. Meant only to get one, but the prices were so reasonable at the little shop, I decided to get all three. He was so well behaved while I shopped and I was so proud of him. When the sales lady asked if I had made a decision on which one I wanted, I told her I would take all three. When I said that, he opened his mouth for the first time and said, "If you do daddy will beat the hell out of you when you get home". I was so speechless I didn't know what to say. All I could do is deny I would get beaten. The sales lady just gave a really weak laugh and said, "Don't they come up with the oddest things". And guess what, you married him. HA HA HA HA HA HA. Honey, don't take him shopping with you.
You two, not so funny.
Priceless story--thanks for sharing.
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